If all goes as planned (I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said those words during my 17 month fertility journey), next Wednesday I will have another FET.
This will be my third frozen embryo transfer, my fifth attempt at pregnancy. I previously had two fresh IVF cycles (one was technically successful, and I became pregnant with twins but my water broke at 17 weeks and I lost my twins), and two FETs. Never did I think this would be so difficult. And now there’s new research out that only dims my hopes further.
According to a new study, that I just happened to spot in my news feed the other day, it’s practically impossible to get pregnant after 5 failed IVF cycles.
Next week will be my fifth. You can imagine the added pressure I’m feeling now.
This crap is so deflating, and I seriously feel like I’ve got nothing left in me to carry on with this journey.
Sure, my situation is a bit different. One of my five cycles did get me pregnant. But I’m tired of people (nurses, doctors, even friends) saying, “At least you know you can get pregnant.” As if having carried my twins to 17 weeks and then losing them with no discover-able reason is somehow supposed to make me feel better and be a source of encouragement that I can do this?
The study basically says that if you can’t get pregnant by the 5th try, it’s next to impossible to get pregnant at the 6th attempt. Specifically, “The cumulative live delivery rate did not increase markedly with additional treatments in the sixth cycle and beyond. The sixth cycle only afforded an extra 0.7% chance of pregnancy and the seventh cycle, 0.4%”
But relax, they say. Try to stay positive, they say. Don’t think about it, they say. There’s always hope, they say.
I used to be one of those theys. But this process sucks the hope and sunshine-y thoughts right out of you. I’m spent.
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