For some reason, when you’re pregnant the people around you start to lose their filter.
It’s like the moment people see a pregnant belly they get sucked into some sort of vortex where tact no longer exists. I have no idea what causes this phenomenon but, phenomenon or not, there are definitely plenty of things I’m super tired of hearing — and flat out just don’t want to hear for the next 5-plus weeks.
Here’s my list of things I don’t want to hear anymore at 35 weeks pregnant (a.k.a. things most pregnant women probably don’t want to hear at 35 weeks pregnant):
1. “Wow! You look so pregnant!”
My fragile pregnant psyche interprets this as “Wow! You look like a beached whale!”.
2. “Oh! You have your first stretch mark! It’s so cute!”
This one was from my midwife. She keeps trying to tell me that stretch marks are a badge of honor, but that’s not really what I want to hear right now. Just saying.
3. “Aren’t you due any day?”
No. I have five more weeks to go. Thanks for making me feel more massive than I already feel.
4. “How are you feeling?”
Once you’re pregnant no one asks “How are you?” It’s always “How are you feeling?” I know that people are well-meaning, but I hate feeling like I’m complaining non-stop about my fatigue, swelling, etc. Just saying “good” doesn’t seem to be a sufficient answer for most people.
5. “Are you scared about the birth?”
Well, I wasn’t until you asked me 15,000 times. But seriously, even if I was scared (which I actually don’t feel right now) I probably wouldn’t want to talk about it, because that would only make me think about it more hence making me feel more scared.
6. “What are you gonna do if something goes wrong?”
I’m having my baby at a birthing center. I’ve thought this through. You’re not going to change my mind but thank you for your concern.
7. “My cousin/friend/neighbor/fill-in-the-blank had an awful pregnancy/labor, because of XYA. Gee! I hope that doesn’t happen for you!”
All births are different, so why focus on the negative experiences?