I woke my husband by the smell of my farts. Yea, that’s one awesome pregnancy side effect. The first trimester this time around was a doozy. Seriously. I was grossing myself out. I felt like there was s constant stream of black wind trailing me. Then one morning after being violently woken by the sound of my husband’s thunderous, yet odorless flatulence I grumbled what he had done to me. And in true fairness he informed me that he had rolled over in the wee hours to be slammed in the face by my silent and sleep induced Dutch oven. Touché. We are not big fart-in-front-of-each-other people so this problem needed to be solved. I had to figure out what was causing this enormous amount of air in my gut and the wretched smell upon leaving my body. It couldn’t just be from that one trip to Taco Bell.
Turns out a pregnant woman produces extra progesterone, which is needed for mom and baby to stay healthy during pregnancy, but it also causes your digestion to slow way down. We know what that means; constipation and food staying in your intestines and creating gas. Ewww.
Now that I know what the deal is, how do I fix it? I read a bunch of stuff about watching what you eat (umm not with my insanity-inducing cravings), keeping a food journal (who has time for this?!), eating six smaller meals (already doing that as most pregnant women do), don’t chew gum (but that’s the only thing keeping me from vomiting), skip drinking through a straw or bottle (great, I drink water from my straw top bottle all day long), sit up straight and don’t slouch (OK, this I can do), doing mild exercise after a meal (I have a 2-year-old boy, so that one is a given). Well, I can sort of do two out of all the suggestions, that still leaves me with stank butt.
Then it hit me one night when I let out some silent stinkers on the couch while watching TV and there was no odor. I tested this out when I went to the other room to relieve myself and sure enough there was odor. As long as I was pounding’ it into the couch, there was no odor. Could I make this work in bed while I slept? To test it out (and save face) I placed a pillow along my back and buttocks, with my backside facing the wall instead of the center of the bed. Then I pushed up against the pillow and settled in for my nights sleep. Guess what? It worked, my husband has not suffered from the middle of the night gas reaper once. Hooray for all! Now go out and get yourself a butt pillow and just tell your husband you need the pillow for comfort (it’s not a lie).
Another good thing is that now, at 22 weeks, my gas has subsided, but I still keep that pillow along my backside, it’s become my bed buddy.