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6 Ways My Pregnant Wife and Toddler Are the Same Person

Image Source: Blair Johnson
Image Source: Blair Johnson

Everyone says my son looks just like me. Of course, I take the unsolicited observations that my boy is a mini-me as a huge compliment because he’s so stinking cute! But I also point out to those same people that he also resembles my gorgeous wife. This is for three reasons:

  1. I think he actually does.
  2. I have a standing theory that sons look like their mothers and daughters look like their fathers, and I like to perpetuate that theory in my own family.
  3. Most importantly, since my wife feels like somewhat of an outcast in her family in that she doesn’t really bear an immediate resemblance to either of her parents or her siblings, she’s extra sensitive to the perception her own flesh and blood doesn’t look like her either. Reinforcing that there is a likeness between her and our son is my attempt to counter that outlook.

Now that we’ve established some background on appearances, I know the title of this article may not be politically correct. But full disclosure: it was my lovely partner (who just entered her third trimester carrying our second child) that encouraged me to write about some of the uncanny and, let’s face it, unflattering, parallels between her current self and our “spirited” (i.e. crazy) 2-year-old son that go beyond facial likeness.

1. Big bellies

As I mentioned, the Mrs. has a beautiful bun in the oven. She’s a personal trainer, so she entered this pregnancy in terrific shape. In fact, some people still can’t tell she has a baby bump. Of course, she can. And our son is like a little Buddha. Always has been.

Now, they both have an adorable paunch.

My wife and I talk openly about “Baby Sister” being inside Mommy’s belly. So to add even more personality to his abdomen, our son now thinks he’s pregnant with twins (he’s even named them after a boy and a girl in his daycare class — I swear).

2. Funny gaits

Many toddlers walk funny. They just do. It’s that “I just learned how to do this walking upright thing in the last year so cut me some slack” flavor. And many a woman’s pregnancy “waddle” has been well-chronicled. There’s no need to get into the unfavorable details about it. Let’s just say it’s not the easiest thing to carry around another human on your person.

But in a race between Mommy and my son, it’s Daddy who wins (in entertainment value).

3. Terrible memories

My wife calls it “pregnancy brain.” You see, my better half typically has a pretty good memory — but not these days.

“What did I go upstairs for?” is a now-common refrain heard around the house. And remembering the names of well-known friends and even family, let alone the date of our wedding anniversary? Yeah, not happening.

The same lack of recall goes for our son.

“Where did I put that book I literally just had in my hands?” Dunno.

“Where is Mommy’s hair band I just put in my pocket?” No clue.

4. Bad sleeping habits

Our son has always been a terrible sleeper. And my wife was always a great sleeper — until our son was born. Now, thanks to one being a toddler and the other being with child, it’s nothing but good times in the boudoir! And it’s been especially fun recently because the kid will invariably end up in our bed at some point during the night.

Between the constant kicking of legs, flailing of arms, and borderline sleep-walking tendencies of our son, and my poor wife’s constant tossing and turning due to her evolving body, it’s a whole different kind of night terror for the adults.

5. Cravings and aversions

When it comes to cravings during this pregnancy, my wife has had an uncommon desire for peanut butter and salads. And not just homemade salads either (i.e. cheap). No, we’re talking to-go orders from various high-end restaurants and cafes around town. No tuna melt cravings like when she was pregnant the first time. And the only thing our son craves these days is chocolate. (Wonder where he got his sweet tooth from?!)

But, oh, the aversions! Due to my wife’s already bloodhound-esque sense of smell (one of her childhood nicknames was Sniffer), she’s already an exceedingly picky eater. Enter our son. Virtually a vegetarian, the kid barely eats anything these days. He’s the biggest waster of food ever. And, of course, the food intake/energy level is a completely inverse relationship.

6. Mood swings

This, of course, is the biggest similarity between my pregnant wife and toddler son. She’s hormonal, he’s a 2-year-old. She’s crying about a TV show, he’s crying about his construction vehicle toy not being right there. It’s truly unbelievable how similar the emotions of a normally rational, even-keeled person can be compared to an ever-growing young boy.

A great example of this is something that’s happened in the last few months. We all know that parenting is exhausting; everyone needs a break from time to time. As such, I’ve felt obligated to take our son on a few road trips recently to visit family in Northern California simply to give my wife some alone time. She’s practically told us to hit the road just so she can have some peace and quiet and a few hours to herself. But sure enough, we’re not a half hour away from the house and she’s texting me, asking how it’s going. Within hours, she wants pictures, videos, anything. I’m thinking, Aren’t we supposed to be giving you a break, honey?! Alas, the nurturing nature never goes away, especially when pregnant.

One is a mature, sensible woman who happens to be pregnant. The other is a highly active 2-year-old with a strong affinity for fire trucks. And while my wife and son look similar (at least to me), some of their other shared attributes are truly astonishing. Lucky me, right?!

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Article Posted 3 years Ago

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