Selective Judgment: Moms Judging Other Moms

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In a recent piece on Today Moms, The Mom-Judging Olympics: A competition nobody meant to enter, Rebecca Dube explores why it is that we judge other mothers.

We all want to say that we don’t do it.

We want to give the impression that we respect each other’s choices.

But do we always?

As you probably remember, I caught some major heat here a few months ago for judging another mother.

And I was told off in every way possible.

I was completely condemned for judging her.

Then, I tried to explain myself, and, subsequently, I was judged for that.

The judgment that I dealt out was returned right back to me. In spades.

The negative comments trickled in for weeks.

But, I’m not alone.

Dube reports, “Nearly 90 percent of us judge other moms, for everything from breast-feeding habits to bratty kids, our TODAY Moms/ survey of 26,000 moms found.”

We all judge…we’re just selective in our judgment.

We can overlook another mother’s decision not to breastfeed, but not her decision to delay vaccinations.

We judge another mom for having an epidural, but not for giving her older child chocolate milk with every meal.

We condemn another mother for not using cloth diapers, but overlook the fact that she hasn’t taken the pacifier away from her 5 year old.

Because we see ourselves in other mothers…the parts of ourselves that we like, but also the parts that we don’t.

And I wonder if we can have a conversation about that.

I wonder if we can admit to ourselves, and each other for that matter, that we judge.

What do you condemn most harshly?

If you feel that you don’t criticize other moms, can you share some insight in the comments for other moms who struggle with it?

Do you feel judged? And if so, how do you handle it?

Related: Not here, please! 10 places we don’t need parenting advice

Article Posted 5 years Ago
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