The Boy Who Browsed For Breast Pumps

Can you imagine this fella inquiring about a breast pump?

I bought a breast pump! Rather, my husband, the scruffy fella to the left there, did a little research and found a breast pump that we purchased together. Which means all engines are go for breast feeding.

In spite of all this.

But! No goals, no plans, nada! I’m just going to take it one day at a time so there is also no guilt.

I couldn’t fathom spending $300 on a new breast pump, so I bought one off the local classifieds. I figured I didn’t need a bag to carry my pump. Which, what is that all about? I mean, the bag, I understand. But what is this? A backpack? Are there a high number of women hiking and pumping? Is this backpack breast pump a big seller? Am I missing something? Do you have one?

Wait! Is this so you can pump on the go? Is that it? Pack on back, suction cups on front and you’re off? Drive and pump? Exercise and pump? Blog and pump?  Or is it just a snazzy way to carry your pump hither and yon?  This ain’t your grandmothers pump, y’all!  Did grandmother have a pump?  I’m guessing no.

So many pumping questions!

Anyway, I decided I didn’t need a bag as I am not a public pumper. I know some women have to pump at work and all manner of strange locations, but with Violet, I stopped breast feeding before returning to work. I couldn’t face pumping in that dirty restroom stall. Yes, yes, I know. Work is required to provide a place to pump, but the alternative to the restroom stall at the news station where I work is a tiny, very busy green room. The thought of the meteorologist tapping at the door so he can affix his toupee and apply his make up would cause my boobs to shrivel up before I’d get a drop of milk, I guarantee it.

After deciding I didn’t need a bag for my pump I narrowed my choice down to the Lansinoh Double Electric. It retails for around $149.99 but I found a nearly new one on the local classifieds for $50. Even though a lot of the reviews said it was loud I thought, loud schmoud, bought it and promptly hooked the sucker up. It was so loud! And the suction didn’t seem very strong. My triumph was dashed.

This breast pump roller coaster ride took place while Serge was out somewhere. He returned home to find me bumming about the breast pump at which point he said, “I found a couple good breast pumps at Kid To Kid“.

Wait, what? “You went shopping for breast pumps?”

“Yeah”, he said nonchalantly.

“Like, you walked into the store and asked if they had any breast pumps?”

“Yeah. They have two really good electric Medela pumps. Wanna go check ’em out?”

“Hold on. You went, on your own… to browse breast pumps?

Recap: My husband, who, heretofore, hasn’t been thrilled about purchasing Tampax, walked into a secondhand store full of women and told the woman behind the counter he was interested in checking out their breast pumps. And he name-dropped the mama of all pumps: Medela. Who is teaching him these things? Could he be having an affair? With another equally pregnant chick?

Turns out, we bought the Medela Pump In Style Original Breast Pump my husband scouted. For a song. They’re nearly $300 or so and we got ours for $150. Which is cool because the pump I used with Violet was the same kind, borrowed from a friend. Not only that, but I turned around and sold the first pump, the Lansinoh, for $60. A $10 profit!

Long story short, I’m all geared up to breast feed, y’all.

Article Posted 6 years Ago

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