Handling one pregnancy is a lot for most couples. But Toby Fleischman and Lindsay Lanciault aren’t most couples.
Last month, Toby and Lindsay took to Instagram to share some epic news — they are both pregnant! Holding up adorable “It’s a boy” and “It’s also a boy” signs, they stand in the photo beaming at each other as their pup Liz Lemon dons a “Big Sister” sign around her neck.
Underneath the photo, Toby writes a super sweet message:
“Yes, you read that correctly. We are both having a baby … at the same time. Well, three weeks apart to be exact.” She continues, “Everyone always says they want to get pregnant with their best friend, and I just happened to be lucky enough to be married to mine.”
These two best friends, living in Los Angeles and married for almost three years, share with PopSugar that the journey to becoming pregnant was a surprising and challenging one. Toby tried for a baby in summer of 2015 and went the route of a sperm donor. She got pregnant, only to miscarry shortly after. Medical complications arose and their donor’s sample was no longer viable.
The setbacks definitely took a toll on their relationship. But with the help of their trusted acupuncturist, Danica Thornberry, they were able to heal and refocus their efforts. “She really pushed us to use the time we had while trying to conceive to work on ourselves, to work on our marriage, and to see the ways in which we were already practicing skills we would use as a parent,” Toby tells Babble.
Their work with Thornberry inspired them to both try. Toby initially felt hesitant to let go of the old plan, but once she saw how much it opened up a loving connection between the two of them, she knew it was the right call. “Now that we are going through it together, I can’t imagine us doing it any other way,” she says.
By winter of 2016, the letting go paid off — Toby and Lindsay found out they were both pregnant within a month of each other!
These incredible women have reminded us all to hang in there when the going gets tough.
Toby and Lindsay hope their story raises awareness about people in the LGBTQ community who are trying to grow their families. Toby shares with Babble, “It surprised me so many people don’t realize the steps we have to take in order to simply create our families, and also to protect them.”
They also want to shed light on fertility issues many women experience. “I wish more women had spoken openly to me about it before and during our process. It wasn’t until I started sharing the details with some friends that I learned I wasn’t alone,” Toby says.
As for their pregnancies, Toby and Lindsay jokingly share that there are lots of hormones running through their house! They also felt relieved when Toby’s morning sickness ended as Lindsay’s began. And while Lindsay had more food aversions, Toby says she wants to eat everything in sight. Fortunately, their cravings have synced up, so they happily bond over pasta and fried food when the desire hits. But, as Toby points out, “it’s getting more difficult to hug each other with our bumps in the way!”
Their biggest challenge so far? Helping their dog Liz and cat Cleo adjust to the big change coming this year.
“Liz Lemon is so wonderful with children, so we can’t wait for her to take on her big sister role. She is certainly in for a surprise though,” Toby says. “We keep telling her we will always love her but pretty soon she is going to be demoted in the household.” And the jury’s still out about Cleo. “She will most likely keep her distance but I have a feeling she is going to love those little boys too,” she explains.
Toby and Lindsay are a shining example of what it means to become a family. I’m so darn excited to keep learning about their beautiful journey!