My fertility journey just got weirder by the tenfold. After finding out earlier this week that our first try at IVF will have to be postponed because of the fact that my ovaries haven’t been responding well to the fertility drug Lupron, my doctor informed me today that I’ll now need to go on the birth control pill.
For those who’ve missed it, I’m considered an “early ovulator.” Because of this, my doctor put me on Lupron, which was intended to slow down my ovulation process. It didn’t. In fact, my over-active ovaries barely responded to the .10cc of Lupron I injected each day into my lower stomach for 15 days.
Since the doctor wants my ovaries to be fully mature when he retrieves them for IVF, my ovulation must be delayed. And since I haven’t responded to Lupron, my doctor now wants to put me on the birth control pill for three weeks in order to better control my ovulation.
Being put on birth control when you’re trying to conceive a baby feels like a giant step backward.
Being put on birth control when you’re trying to conceive a baby feels like a giant step backward. I realize that women who have struggled with infertility issues for years experience an outrageous amount of frustration and heartbreak during their journey, and I don’t mean to imply that my three-month trip on this road to motherhood can even compare to the hurdles and obstacles they have faced. But that doesn’t make this latest news any easier to swallow; having to take the birth control pill when all I want is to get pregnant sounds incredibly counterproductive.
Now is when I have to remind myself to trust what the doctors say. For so long and before my fertility journey began, I’ve been skeptical of western medicine and “following doctor’s orders.” Don’t get me wrong. I don’t think modern medicine is some great conspiracy or anything like that, but I do think we have the tendency to blindly follow whatever it is the doctors tell us because “they know best” even if this means ignoring what our own bodies tell us or sacrificing personal beliefs when it comes to our medical care. I certainly don’t believe that all doctors are bad. I know they have saved countless lives and that we have much to be grateful for because of them.
It’s just so hard not to cock my head and scream, “Say what?!” when I’m told I have to take the birth control pill for three weeks before I can start trying to conceive. I haven’t had the easiest time with the cocktail of hormones and drugs that have been prescribed to me. It all seems so unnatural. But I know and so many mothers who have traveled this road before me have said that it will all be worth it in the end. That when I’m holding my little one, these moments will be hard to recall and that, really, nothing else will have mattered. Not the hows. Not the whys. Not any of this.
It is that thought that helps me get through these odd times. And if taking the birth control pill for three weeks is part of what must be done in order for me to have a baby, then so be it.
Read more of Aela’s writing at Two Moms Make A Right