I have not been having the best week. I hate complaining, but this week honestly has left me drained, upset, and I am looking forward to starting a new week fresh. First the issues with my kidney, and now issues with the anatomy scan I had today that I was really looking forward to.
I have a lot of anxiety in this pregnancy, from all my losses and the battle with infertility. It’s left me on edge, worried, and when I can get reassurance that the baby is growing healthy and happy, it means the world to me. I have not had the best luck this pregnancy with getting that reassurance, but was hoping to have some today since the anatomy ultrasound was scheduled, and I was going to see my baby — heart beating, healthy, kicking, and happy.
I had heard the baby’s heartbeat the day before at my last-minute OB appointment — finally, nice and strong. That helped lessen the anxiety I had about going into the ultrasound today, but it turns out the ultrasound itself was going to leave me more confused and anxious.
This weekend, according to my first dating ultrasound and my basal body charting, I should be about 19 weeks pregnant. That put me in line for a good time to get the anatomy scan done today, but when the ultrasound tech put the wand to my abdomen, she had different things to say.
She looked for less than 2 minutes and said, “Your baby is too small. I won’t be doing the scan today.”
That was it. She tried to rush me off the table and I started to cry. I asked if she could go and get my husband so he could see the baby (he is anxious too), and if we could at least see the heartbeat and have a look. I had to go on and say that we’ve had 12 miscarriages and have anxiety, and could she at least give us that. Reluctantly she did.
She put the wand back on my stomach with my husband in the room and no joke — gave him a 30 second look at the baby before she told me to get off the table again.
I was not pleased, to say the least. I was, and still am, confused and upset and wondering why for the second ultrasound the baby has measured 2 weeks behind. The only times this has happened to me, it did not end well for the baby or me. I am now anxious for my next doctor’s appointment, but hopeful he will be able to ease some of my anxiety.
:: Did you have a baby that measured small in ultrasounds? ::
Photo credit: © Devan McGuinness | AccustomedChaos