For the past few nights, I lay down and my mind won’t shut off. While this is typical behavior for me the out of control heart racing an anxiety is out of the ordinary. I ran into the I hit reality wall when I turned 29 weeks Tuesday. It’s not even a big milestone week but something just hit me. Anywhere from now to 11 weeks I will have five children. Five!
This is the first time I’ve had anxiety when it comes to the Littles. I usually can’t wait to pop them out but all this time I’ve been counting down and now I’m really hoping he makes his due date because I’m not ready for a surprise debut in 5 weeks. That is for sure! I am going to be honest. I was good with 4, happy with 4, had control with 4 and well – the control freak inside me is well, freaking. 5 is an odd number. And we will have a boy. I am not sure which one is giving me the anxiety. The fact that our lives are going to change and we will have 5 kids. Does it even matter at this point? Once you have 4 what’s 5 right? Well, that’s my concern. What is 5 like? Is it even more chaotic? Because honestly, 4 really isn’t bad at all. And than I question the hormones. Is this just average third trimester behavior? Or am I just deep down inside anxious for him to arrive after this pregnancy? Ugh. So many questions. So much anxiety for baby no. 5. I know most of you are probably thinking, pop a Xanax. And, I probably would if I could but I also don’t think my so called “anxiety” is that bad. It’s more of a this is the end of my last trimester and my baby is almost here anxiety.
So — what seems to help? Don’t laugh but seriously, this works. When I lay down and feel a little anxious I say the ABC’s. For some reason, it instantly takes my mind off everything and really helps. It’s kinda like counting sheep. But better. Also — I am trying to say “no” more. I’m a workaholic and with that, comes a lot of stress and anxiety. So, I am letting my superwoman powers go and making slowing down more of a priority than it’s even been. Less stress. Less anxiety.
Did you ever feel anxious as you prepared for another child?
Image: Created by Moi!