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Why We’re Not Giving Up on This Pregnancy

aelamassWe went back for our second ultrasound, and there still wasn’t a heartbeat. But we’re not giving up on this pregnancy.

At our first ultrasound a couple of weeks ago, we suspected that my wife was nine weeks pregnant, based on her last period — since that’s how due dates are usually calculated. But at that appointment, there was only a yolk sac and an embryonic sac. No fetus. No fetal pole. And no heartbeat. Plus, my wife was measuring at 5 1/2 weeks.

We were terrified.

We spoke more with our doctor and midwife (who has been a Godsend through all of this). Since we know our conception date, the doctor decided we should use that instead of Sara’s period date — especially since her cycles aren’t totally regular and she ovulates later than the average, our midwife noted. The average, by the way, is based on a 28-day cycle, yet so many women don’t fit into this average. Based on all of these details, the results of the 5 and 1/2 week ultrasound make more sense, though it’s hardly a sure thing.

At our next ultrasound, we really, really, really wanted to see a heartbeat.

But we didn’t.

But what we did see leaves us hopeful.

We saw growth. We saw an embryo. And we saw a fetal pole. We also saw no signs of an impending miscarriage: no hemorrhages in the uterus, no signs of detachment, no cramping, no bleeding.

If we use the date of conception as the doctor suggested (which our ultrasound tech is now doing), the measurements are all consistent. And while it’s not ideal that we haven’t yet registered a heartbeat, it’s not unheard of for there not to be one at seven weeks.

Our ultrasound results were sent to experts in Boston. They evaluated our first one and our most recent one, and they told our doctors, “don’t close the door on this pregnancy.” It’s not the most technical phrase, but — by golly — we are listening to the experts and going with it!

We’re far from in the clear. Not closing the door is hardly the same as celebrating good news. Sure, it’s not the news we were hoping for, but it’s also not the news we weren’t hoping for. So we’ll take this for now. We have to. From the first ultrasound to the second one, there has been growth, there has been development.

There are signs of our little one growing.

That might not continue to be the case. Our midwife and doctor have been very honest with us that this pregnancy might end. That Sara could miscarry, really at any point.

But for now, we’re holding on to hope and being thankful for each day she continues to be pregnant. We’re appreciative to all those who have left messages or comments with their own stories of success — those, more than anything, helped get us through the first awful days after our original ultrasound. Knowing other women have experienced similar scares, and that they’ve successfully carried the pregnancy to term, has filled our hearts with so much light.

We’re not giving up on this pregnancy.

Image courtesy of Aela Mass

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