I’ve learned many things in life but this week, faith has played a huge part. I’ve complained about this pregnancy quite often. Mainly because it has been so hard. You can see me rant here and here. Oh, and here. While yes, I’ve been on a crazy roller coaster ride with my unborn, I now look back feeling guilty. Here’s why.
This week, my family has welcomed 3 preemies into our life. My best friend welcomed her son at just 34 weeks. The same time I welcomed my last daughter, Sadie. (Read about her here.) While in the end, he will be perfect, it’s sad to look through that little incubator and not be able to touch him. And just think, I am not even the Mom! I can only imagine what it feels like to not hold your first son after 4 days. Heartbreaking. Seeing such a tiny little person go through so much really makes them such miracles.
The next 2. My cousin’s girlfriend gave birth to her twin girls at 23 weeks. Weighing just one pound each, they are fighting for their life every second. They are literally the length of a Barbie doll – 8 inches long. It was weeks ago before birth they were named Faith and hope and well, now we are doing just that holding out hope for them and leaning on our faith. While I have had a preemie, I can’t imagine what they are going through with 2 micro preemies. The long road they have ahead just breaks my heart.
Than I got to thinking of Babble blogger and my friend, sweet Diana (Hormonal Imbalances) who lost her twins at 19 weeks. There was nothing she could do but that has changed her life. Again I realized I’ve been selfish. It made me realize one thing. Never pray for time to fast forward. Never wish for your pregnancy to hurry up and be over. Never wish for something that can be taken for granted in a second.
While this pregnancy has physically, emotionally and sometimes mentally drained me and there was a point where we were on the verge of losing our own (see here), but I’ still pregnant and I’m lucky. I’m lucky to be almost 30 weeks. I’m lucky to have made it this for. I’m blessed that faith has gotten me where I am today.I look back and think, these 3 woman in my life would reverse time to go back and make forty weeks. They would do anything to be pregnant in this very moment. It reminds me to once again to focus on the beauty of pregnancy and the end result. While I am anxious to meet my son, I’m still praying I make full term and I need to pray a little harder because my doctors still aren’t confident I will.
You need to be grateful for pregnancy even through the moments where you just want to scream, your feet are swollen, you’re puking over the toilet and well, you’re just plan miserable. But, it is all worth it. In the end, the reward is beyond words. And you should always be eternally grateful for that. And if you wouldn’t mind, as a NICU mom, all preemies have a special place in my heart so please, hug your Littles extra tight tonight and pray for all those sweet babies fighting for their life this very second. The 2 NICU’s I visited today both had one thing in common. Every single bed was full. They were understaffed and nurses were taking care of 3-4 babies instead of 2. It was in that moment I wish the word “preemie” didn’t exist.
(Above Photo: My 34 weeker, Sadie.)
For those who want to help my dear cousin and his family, a fundraiser has been set up for Hope and Faith as they will be incurring many medical cost over the months. Even $1 helps. We accept tons of prayers too!
In the mean time I’ve made a promise to myself to enjoy these last few weeks and just pray I won’t see the NICU this time around.
You just gotta have faith.