The Pulmonary Clotwich from InsanewichesAdrian Fiorino
Cardiologists, please look away. For the rest of you, get ready to enjoy one of the richest, creamiest ‘wiches that’s ever clogged an artery. With calorie-dense ingredients like liver
pat’, brie cheese, and mayonnaise, this French-inspired creation is a decadent treat that’s sure to give the old ticker a workout. In fact, you may wanna check your pulse halfway through eating it.
- 3 tablespoons mayo
- 25-30 drops red food coloring
- 3 slices of French brioche egg bread or challah, sliced thick
- 3 tablespoons butter (to spread on bread)
- 2 5-ounce packages of liver pât’ (You will need to find a flat vacuum-packed-in-plastic variety, with each piece approximately 1/2 inch thick by 4 inches long by 3 inches wide)
- 1 medium-sized wheel of brie (about 5 ounces brie, rind removed)
- small Ziploc bag
- heart-shaped cookie cutter (3 inches top to bottom and 3 1/2 inches left to right at the widest point)
- nonstick skillet
- chef’s knife
- kitchen shears
- long rectangular plate or platter
1. In a bowl, stir together mayo and red food coloring. Spoon mayo into a small Ziploc bag and refrigerate.
2. Using the cookie cutter, stamp out a heart shape from each slice of egg bread.
3. Heavily butter both sides of each slice of egg bread. Fry both sides of each slice in a nonstick skillet over medium-low heat until golden. Remove and set aside.
4. Using the cookie cutter, stamp a heart shape from each piece of liver pate.
5. Place the cookie cutter on a plate and spoon the brie into it, making sure to pack it down firmly. Gently lift the cookie cutter off.
6. Remove the bag of mayo from the fridge and squeeze its contents into the corner of the bag. Carefully twist the opposite end of the bag to pack it tightly.
7. Over the sink (because there might be a bit of spillage), snip a tiny 1/16-inch corner from the bag.
8. Leaving about 3 or 4 inches of space on the left side of the platter to stack the sandwich, pipe a horizontal mayo line along the center of the plate about 2 inches long.
9. Without breaking the line, continue piping a zigzag with one high peak, one low peak, and another high peak, in that order.
10. Without breaking the line, finish the flatline by piping a straight 6-inch horizontal line.
In the empty space on the platter, stack the sandwich as follows: one slice of bread, one slice of pât’, the brie cheese, the second slice of bread, the next slice of pât’, and the final slice of bread. You may wish to use a small spatula to finesse the delicate pât’ and cheese hearts into place.