If your spouse is distant it’s easy to worry that something serious is going on. If you’ve watched too many Lifetime movies or heard stories about relationships gone bad or experienced such, cheating might be the first thing that comes to mind. But cheating isn’t the only reason for a distant spouse. Sometimes there is a different explanation.
Below are some reasons your spouse might seem aloof, reasons that may hold true for women as well:
1. They are stressed.
If your spouse is experiencing stress it may cause them to be more distant. It can be difficult to be fully present and intimate with your spouse if you have a lot on your mind.
2. You’ve been arguing.
If you two have been arguing a lot your spouse may be walking on egg shells these days. Maintaining distance may be their attempt to avoid getting into another argument.
3. You’re overbearing.
The two of you are always together. Instead of having time separately and to enjoy your friends everything you do is with your spouse. There’s a possibility that your spouse wants a little bit of space and hasn’t figured out how to tell you.
4. They’re tired.
If your spouse is tired they may make a beeline for the bed the first chance they get. It is likely that it has nothing to do with them not wanting to spend time with you and everything to do with the fact that they want sleep.
5. A physical change.
Perhaps they have gained weight or experienced some sort of physical change that has resulted in them not feeling comfortable in their own skin.
6. They’re depressed.
If your spouse is battling depression they might struggle with not isolating themselves from loved ones, including you.
7. They’re sick.
Whether they have a visible illness such as a cold or are experiencing less obvious physical ailments not feeling well might result in your spouse being more distant.
For some routines get old, or at the very least boring. The excitement that once filled your relationship has faded and each day feels like a replay of the previous one.
9. There’s been a change in how you carry yourself.
For some reason or another you’ve changed. It can be anything ranging from a new found sense of pride, to feeling miserable during pregnancy. Your spouse may not know how to respond to the change in you and as a result may unknowingly be more distant.
10. A shift in priorities.
While your marriage should be a priority things such as a new baby, new job, or family related issue might result in your spouse becoming more distance.
Although some of these reasons may result in a need for professional help some of them are easily remedied simply by making more of an effort to preserve and strengthen your relationship with your spouse. Take the time to check in with your spouse and discuss your concerns rather than getting mad and either internalizing it or posting it on your Facebook wall.