I can still remember my first date with my husband. It was nearly 14 years ago — I was only 17-years-old and in high school. Dating when you’re younger is so much different than dating when you’re older, and if you’re looking for love, you want that first date to go well.
I am not an expert in dating, since I married my first real relationship (and we’re still very happily together) so when it comes to first dates, I know I would be so out of my own element. Whether you’re still looking for your first love, or back in the dating field, there are some key things you should not talk about when you’re on your first date. The goal is always to find someone you’re compatible with, have a good spark and go on to have a second (and third, and fourth etc.) date with.
Since I don’t really know the first thing about first dates, I reached out to some relationship and dating experts who shared with me the topics that should be off-limits for your first date and why.
10 Things Not to Talk About on Your First Date 1 of 11
I asked relationship and dating experts what topics should be off-limits for the first date and here's what they've said:
Past Lovers 2 of 11
"No man wants to hear about men you have slept with in the past. It ruins the mystique and makes them feel anxious about being compared to them and coming up short." -- Carole Lieberman M.D , DrCarole.com
Marriage and/or Divorce 3 of 11
"On a first date, it's none of your business. Too personal for the first date. And if you're still not over it, you shouldn't be dating yet." -- Rosalinda Randall, etiquette expert from YourRelationshipEdge.com
Problems With Children 4 of 11
..."Or any problems at all for that matter. Most men don't want to feel the pressure of having to fix things in your life before they've even gotten to know you." -- Carole Lieberman M.D , DrCarole.com
Questions About You 5 of 11
"Don't ask questions like, "Do you think I look okay?" or "Do you think the date is going well?" or "How am I doing?" Nothing reeks of insecurity more than seeking someone else's approval. Just be yourself and you'll get it." -- Suzanne Casamento CEO, Fantasy Dating, LLC, fantasydatinggame.com
Your Job – If you are not happy 6 of 11
"Sometimes, first dates happen after a long, bad day at work. It is really easy to let that seep into the conversation when you are doing the typical first date interview back and forth chatter. Talking about how you hate what you do for a living means that your date can expect every dinner with you is going to be at least partially filled with your complaining. Ain't nobody got time for that." -- Eric Resnick, profilehelper.com
Illness 7 of 11
"Illnesses you have or have had unless you have an STD and plan on having sex on the first date, there is no reason to go into your whole medical history." -- Carole Lieberman M.D , DrCarole.com
Finances 8 of 11
"How much do you make? None of your business! Remember, whomever did the inviting, pays." -- Rosalinda Randall, etiquette expert from YourRelationshipEdge.com
The Dating Game 9 of 11
Topics such as how hard it is to meet someone should be off-limits. Eric Resnick from profilehelper.com says, "You are on a date right now. Keep it positive and focus on the face in front of you, not the three crazy or boring first dates that didn't work out last week."
Politics 10 of 11
"A serious debate about politics does not create romance. A first date should focus on sparking an atmosphere for the possibility of love and chemistry." -- Amanda Wozadlo, thedatingstylist.com
Intimate Preferences and Experience 11 of 11
"This is crossing a boundary that exists until (and if) your relationship progresses into something more intimate. It will make the other person uncomfortable, leave them questioning your goals for dating and be a big turn-off" -- Toni Coleman, LCSW, CMC, consum-mate.com
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