I’ve said it before and I will say it again — words hurt. Sticks and stones also hurt but unlike cuts and bruises that eventually heal, the sting from an ill word can last a lifetime. Words hold great power. While they can lift and build people up they can also tear them down reeking destruction. Glance back over your life and while there are a multitude of moments that stand out, I imagine there are words and phrases that pop into your head as well. There is a saying that “people will forget what you did but they won’t forget how you made them feel.” Our words have the ability to conjure up various emotions and feelings, and even after apologies have been said and a request for forgiveness made, the memory doesn’t fade. Because the reality is, when it comes to what you say, people don’t forget. And some people will remind you of what you said long after the words fall from your lips.
Recently I read an article on The Huffington Post that identified words that could ruin one’s marriage. I wanted to share some of them with you and decided to incorporate some of my own, some shared with me by colleagues. I even reached out to some of my friends for their thoughts. The fact that we were able to give some of our own examples suggests that we have either heard or uttered these words ourselves.
I share them with you not in an attempt to make you feel bad or remind you why you should be mad at your spouse. Rather I share them to help serve as a reminder that the saying think before you speak still holds true.
We all, myself included, say things out of anger and frustration. But somewhere along the way, hopefully we come to the realization that nothing good comes out of using our tongues as weapons. Long after the rush of dropping an F-bomb (aka $#*k @#%!) subsides are the remains of a further damaged relationship. Here are 12 words and phrases we should never say to our spouses:
12 Words and Phrases You Should Never Say to Your Spouse 1 of 13
Click through for 12 words and phrases you should never say to your spouse.
Never 2 of 13
Everyone knows that you never say never when referring to your spouse and what he or she does. According to The Huffington Post the word never "implies a sense of hopelessness and finality."
Always 3 of 13
Also noted in the article by The Huffington Post, the word always suggests that your spouse is doing something wrong and you something right. The word always is considered an "all or nothing" phrase.
Hate 4 of 13
As children we are often taught not to use the word hate. "Hate is a strong" word, the grownups in our lives would say. And it is, especially when it is tied to something your spouse does, particularly something that is a part of who they were when you first met them.
Fat 5 of 13
For some of us our appearance is a touchy subject. Calling your spouse fat isn't going to magically make them get in shape. Instead it might result in hurt feelings.
Stupid/Dumb 6 of 13
An attack on your partner's intelligence is never a good idea. After all they were smart enough to be with you right?
Lazy 7 of 13
Calling someone lazy rarely motivates him or her to be the exact opposite.
He/She got that from you… 8 of 13
If your child does something that drives you nuts or you feel isn't necessarily becoming don't be so quick to point the finger at your partner and say that your child got it from them.
8. This is gross/ugly. 9 of 13
Ever go out of your way to do something nice for someone and instead of saying thank you they say something negative? You may not like her cooking or his taste in jewelry but that doesn't mean you have to respond negatively. Gratitude goes a long ways.
It’s not my problem. 10 of 13
Once you make the decision to marry someone their problems become your problems. Marriage is a partnership. Instead of washing your hands of things consider making an effort to help your spouse come up with a solution.
Hurry up! 11 of 13
No one wants to hear their spouse make a request for them to wrap things up in the bedroom when it seemed things were just getting started.
Leave 12 of 13
You're mad and instead of talking things out you and your spouse engage in a war of words and you tell them to leave or even worse mention the dreaded d word — divorce. The next time you argue you again tell them to leave. Doing so sends the message that you don't really want to keep working to make your relationship last. You might also want to consider the fact that should you keep pushing they might oblige you and actually leave.
My ex used to… 13 of 13
OUCH! Nothing bruises the ego quite like hearing what your spouse's ex did except hearing about the fact that they did it better.
For a few additional words you should refrain from using when speaking to your spouse as well as some tips on how to communicate more effectively, visit The Huffington Post. I realize never is a tall order but a little effort goes a long ways. Any taboo words I left out?