14 Reasons You Didn’t Get That Second Date

Image Source: Thinkstock
Image Source: Thinkstock

The idea of dating kinda scares me. It’s like a job interview, but less formal with the same pressure for a good first impression. I can still remember the first date with my husband almost 14 years ago and it was, well, awkward. You’re not really sure what to talk about and yet you want to make sure you show your real self. Getting a second date is a sign that the first time went well and for those looking for find love, it can be confusing if you never got that call back for another date.

It can be frustrating and confusing looking for the love of your life and if you’re the type of person who enjoys meeting new people, going on multiple dates is probably a lot of fun. If you’re more shy or reserved, these first dates could be stress-inducing and even more so when you can’t figure out why you didn’t get asked on a second date. I asked relationship and dating experts if they could share some of the top reasons men and women don’t get asked to go on a second date and guess what, it may not be all your fault.

If you’ve been on more first dates than second ones, click through to read 14 reasons you maybe didn’t get a second date call from 8 dating experts  who have heard it all.

1. You’re Disrespectful

“Even worse you put him down in public. If he doesn’t pick up on your disrespect because he is infatuated with you, trust me his friends will and they will tell him. Showing a man respect will speak volumes in a world where every other show makes fun of the dumb-good-for-nothing man. If you’re an eye-roller, check your attitude.”

— Relationship expert, Michael Dean; RealMenDontText

2. You’re Desperate

“You have that looking your eye. Guys can spot it a mile away, that is, the girls who are just looking for a ring. Don’t ask leading questions, don’t interview him, and don’t tell him about your biological clock. We men are smarter than you think. We know exactly what you’re after.”

— Relationship expert, Michael Dean; RealMenDontText

3. You’re Too Independent

“Is “I don’t need a man” plastered on your forehead? Let your guard down a little. Chances are you have been hurt in the past. Seek some counseling and get back in the dating game. If you are constantly complaining about the ‘lack of good men’, your bitterness will come out on your dates. Every guy I know likes to be helpful and needed by a woman every now and then even if she has it all together. Let him help you where necessary, because the truth is we need each other. If you are too self-sufficient, it might scare men away.”

— Relationship expert, Michael Dean; RealMenDontText

4. You Weren’t Present

“Sometimes we’re so nervous about what we should say next or whether or not our date thinks we’re funny, pretty or smart, that we have trouble staying in the moment. If you spend your entire date wondering if your kids will have his ears or whether or not he wants a destination wedding too, you’re going to miss the whole thing. And nobody wants to have a second date with someone who stared blankly at them and respond with a, “huh”? when asked a question. Reel in your crazy train brain and remember, the date is an opportunity to get to know someone and connect with them. So listen actively, find something in common and enjoy your date.”

— Dating expert, Suzanne Casamento

5. You Got Drunk

“Don’t have more than two cocktails on a first date. If you get drunk, he’s going to think you’re always like that, and he’s probably not looking for someone who can’t say no to alcohol, or gets sloppy, easily. ”

— Relationship expert and author, April Masini; AskApril.com

6. Too Eager To Please

“Yes, we all want people to like us, but being too eager to please is a total turn off. Stop worrying about whether or not he likes you and decide whether or not you like him. Present your date with your likes and dislikes right up front. Don’t have what he’s having. Show him the true you. If he doesn’t ask you out again, you’re in luck, because he’s making room for the right guy to come into your life.”

— Dating expert, Suzanne Casamento

7. Too Much Too Soon

“I know this sounds backwards, because for most guys, if you’re willing, he’s ready — but a guy who’s looking for Ms. Right, doesn’t want someone who’s too easy for the long term. And if he’s looking for a wife or a long-term girlfriend, and you acted more like a one night stand, he’s going to look elsewhere. ”

— Relationship expert and author, April Masini; AskApril.com

8. You Were On Your Phone Too Much

“There’s nothing more disrespectful than staring at your phone while you’re on a date. It takes effort to plan and attend a date. Disrespecting someone’s time and effort by showing them that they’re no more important than a text or the need to tweet will kill any chance of date number two. Think about it. How would you feel if someone did that to you?”

— Dating expert, Suzanne Casamento

9. You Were Late

“You were more than 30 minutes late without any notice or explanation – ‘fashionably late’ is a rumor! Keep it up and they’ll be many more missed second dates”

— Relationship Communication Trainer, Eden Adele

10. Lack Of Chemistry

“Sometimes people simply don’t click. Making conversation is equivalent to pulling teeth. They have very little interest in the same things and do not share the same sense of humor. *Dating is supposed to be fun. If people don’t have a good time they aren’t likely to want to invest time or money going on second date.”

— Kevin Darne author of My Cat Won’t Bark! (A Relationship Epiphany)

11. You Were Offensive

“When a person says/does something offensive, commits an unknown “deal breaker”, displays bad behavior, self-centered, or is very late and shows no respect for the other person’s time or made no real plans for the date. These (bad behavior turn offs) vary from person to person. Some examples might be picking one’s nose, constantly checking a cell phone, cursing excessively, complains about everything. Dressed inappropriately for the date, (belching, farting, or spitting) are turn offs for most people.”

— Kevin Darne author of My Cat Won’t Bark! (A Relationship Epiphany)

12. No Reason At All

“Many dates end with a vague feeling of not wanting to see the person again, for no real reason. There are plenty of times when a person does nothing wrong, and perhaps there is even some chemistry with a good night kiss, but the relationship simply isn’t meant to be. If every person was your soul mate, every other person on the bus would give you butterflies, and the world would be very chaotic. Falling head over heels for someone is rare! As it should be. Know that sometimes there is nothing you can do differently to make a date work out, and that’s okay.”

— Julie Melillo, Manhattan Dating Coach

13. You’re A Terrible Listener

“Women are verbal. We love to chat it up. Sharing with our girlfriends is how we show we love them. Healthy  communication is a cycle of giving and receiving. Listening to someone intently, without planning a reply, is one of the most generous gifts you can give. Maybe your nerves got the best of you or you’re just a chatty Cathy but if you failed to listen to your date you probably came across as selfish.”

— Love and relationship expert, Abiola Abrams

14. You Talk Too Much About Your Ex

“Whatever you do, don’t bring up your past relationships on your first date. If you go on and on about your ex, whether positive or negative, it conveys that you have a ton of emotional baggage that you haven’t dealt with. Since you date may not be willing to help you unpack it, keep that baggage at the door.”

— Mental Health and Relationship Expert, Rhonda Richards-Smith, LCSW


Article Posted 5 years Ago

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