20 Pick-Up Lines That Should Be Retired Immediately

Meeting people is hard. Thank goodness for the Internet. Although I don’t know firsthand as I was already married up by the time online dating and social media sites skyrocketed, it seems to have made things a lot less difficult for people. Hiding behind monitors and cell phones is a lot easier than getting up the courage to approach a stranger out of nowhere and get the ball rolling.

That’s where pick-up lines come in. Some people use them with the utmost sincerity but the smartest people use them sarcastically, as a way to break the ice while acknowledging that “Hey! I like you.”

Unless the person using the line was so clearly attempting to be funny that I had to laugh, I don’t think I’ve ever met a pick-up line I liked or that worked … and yet I understand the necessity.

With that said, some pick-up lines should be retired from play. They’re so stupid they have become the stuff of urban legends. Do people really use these things? In honor of Sadie Hawkins Day, check out 20 pick-up lines my friends swear have been used on them, and let me know if you’ve ever witnessed some poor sap trying one of these on for size. Did it work? Would you turn the tables and use one yourself? (I hope not.)

  • Stop! In The Name of Love! 1 of 20

    Click through for 20 of the all-time worst pick-up lines.


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  • "Your body is a wonderland, and I’d like to be Alice." 2 of 20

    Not even John Mayer could pull this one off. Actually, now that I think about it, especially not John Mayer.


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  • "If you were a booger I’d pick you first." 3 of 20

    Someone shared this with me on my Facebook page and I made her swear they actually witnessed it go down. She assures me it was a legitimate pick-up line. A legitimate pick-up line that is legitimately the worst one I've ever heard. If you're looking for lines, don't pick this one.


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  • "I know a fun activity that can burn 500 calories an hour …" 4 of 20

    I might've just thrown up a little bit.


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  • "Hey girl, do you know how much a polar bear weighs? I don’t know either but it’s enough to break the ice." 5 of 20

    Again, it's terrible, but it just might work if you play up the comedic factor.


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  • "You must be tired because you’ve been running through my mind all day." 6 of 20

    This one is so famous I think I might laugh as hard as this woman if it was used on me and I might even go for it.


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  • "Let me be your Fred Flintstone and I’ll make your bedrock." 7 of 20

    No one could have ever used this in all seriousness, could they?


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  • "You have really nice elbows." 8 of 20

    As Babble's own Aela Mass tells me, "A guy once told me, 'You have really nice elbows.' I thought he was a complete weirdo at first. Who notices elbows? But I was also a bit taken by the originality. Long story short, I dated him for 3 years — a lifetime ago. As far as my elbows are concerned: totally average."


    Originality can work for you, I guess that's the lesson we can take from this anecdote.


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  • "Are you from Tennessee? Cause you’re the only 10 I see." 9 of 20

    Don't use this one in Tennessee, obviously. Doesn't go over so well.


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  • "Did you get those pants on sale? Because if they were at my house they would be 100 percent off." 10 of 20
    Bad Date

    And I'm 100% turned off.


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  • "Made In Heaven." 11 of 20

    [Looking at tag on shirt] "Yep. That's what I thought. Made in heaven."


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  • "Excuse me, do you have your phone number? I’ve seem to have lost mine." 12 of 20
    Group of young people at party

    I always say, with a very sincere face: Absolutely! 867-5309. I've even written it on a dude's hand before with the name "Jenny." What? One bad turn deserves another.


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  • "Gurl, you’re so fly the birds is jealous." 13 of 20

    I have to say, this one might work on me, if executed with the right amount of humor.


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  • "Gurl, you’re so sweet you’d make a diabetic freak out." 14 of 20

    But what if she's diabetic? Crash and burn.


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  • A Few Of His Favorite Things… 15 of 20

    My friend Barbara tells me, "My ex-husband said to me: 'You realize you're my two favorite things, right?' I said 'Yeah, what's that?' He responded ... 'You're a BAR and a BRA. BARBRA. Get it?' I said 'Yeah ... except for the fact that my name isn't spelled that way.' Like I said. Ex-husband."


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  • "I’m new in town, could I have directions to your house?" 16 of 20
    Active teens

    Just give him directions to a local strip club because that's where he belongs.


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  • "I don’t even care about that blister …" 17 of 20

    Betsy Tant says she got this one once while sporting a fever blister: "Hey, you're hot. I don't even care about that sore on your lip." Sexy.


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  • "I heard milk does a body good, but dang girl how much you been drinkin’?" 18 of 20
    browsing the  record shop

    This is another line a certain type of person can pull off but you're probably not that person so don't attempt it.


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  • "Do you have a quarter? My mother told me to call home when I met the girl of my dreams." 19 of 20
    Happy Couple Enjoying the Party

    Just give them a quarter and look at them blankly.


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  • "You must be Cinderella, because I see that dress disappearing by midnight." 20 of 20
    Nice to meet you...

    Let's just clear this up right now: anything insinuating sex is out of the question. It's just gross, you big perv, you.


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Article Posted 3 years Ago

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