You’re a happily married woman, you and your husband are close but respect each other’s individual lives too. You love date night but enjoy time out with friends. You enjoy catching up with your girls, but what about your guy friends? If you’re in touch with men who aren’t your husband — a member of your kid’s PTA or a coach, maybe a co-worker — here are 5 simple rules to stick with to ensure everything stays on the up-and-up between the two of you.
- Flirting happens, but don’t feed that fire.
Try not to get too cheeky in texts or emails, and don’t respond in kind to texting flirtation. Flirting is fun and healthy, but it can escalate quickly.
- Text during appropriate times.
You’re likely doing nothing wrong, but a phone blowing up at odd, late hours is bound to set off some alarms in your spouse.
- Text in moderation.
Don’t have your face buried in your phone for hours a day. It’s a double standard, but you may want to text with male friends a little less than you would with girlfriends. And if you start finding yourself anxiously anticipating his next message, it might be time to cut things off all together.
- Know his intent.
Women know when men are after more than friendship, and even married couples know they aren’t immune to temptation. If you notice a change in tone from your friend or if things seem to get a little too personal, let him know that he’s crossing a line.
- If you wouldn’t let your husband read it, don’t send it
Everyone has secrets they keep from their spouses — innocent flirtations, daydreams about spouse-free weekends — but if you’re sending texts you’d be embarrassed or ashamed to show your husband, you’re heading down a slippery slope.
Men and women can be “just friends.” Guys give us a perspective and an outlet we might not find in our girlfriends or even our husbands. Spouses in secure commitments shouldn’t feel threatened by such relationships, but it’s important to recognize when the friendship might be morphing into something less innocent and to know how to stop it.