We’ve all been victim to the infamous relationship rut.
For us, that tends to fall into the overwhelming exhaustion that is raising small children and tends to appear in the date night = ice cream and Bacherolette re-runs on the couch. (Seriously, I’m down with it. If I can stay awake.)
But this 4th of July, try to be inspired by all of those fireworks and put a little sizzle back into your relationship!
Now, I’m not advocating for anything illegal, of course, but can’t we just all agree that it would be super romantic to find a little out-of-the-way spot to watch those fireworks fly? Just don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, kids.
My husband always claims that a sexy woman is a confident woman, and I guess I would have to agree with him. In our almost seven years of marriage, I’ve spent the majority of my wifely time pregnant or nursing a baby, so it hasn’t exactly been a time of rip-roaring body confidence on my part, but when I’m feeling down about myself, you can bet that the intimate parts of our marriage see some downtime as well. And although I’m not certain that any amount of faking confidence that I don’t have will help things in the eight-month-pregnant department I’m currently residing in, I will definitely tuck that advice away for approximately two months and six weeks from now…
Not in a bad way, of course. But isn’t there something way more interesting about a partner who has his or her own interests, hobbies, and happenings going on in life? I don’t know about you, but I feel a lot better about myself when my husband asks me how my day was and I can actually report real happenstances instead of just, “Oh, you know…good…changed a diaper…and then another one.” Obviously, if you happen to be at home with young children like yours truly, it’s not about degrading your very real profession, but about throwing some mystery into the game and watching your relationship perk up just a bit.
Get Away — On A Weekday
Here’s a fun fact for you: my husband had never missed a day of school in his life until he started dating me (yes, we were high school sweethearts and yes, pathetic, right?). Then, I introduced him to the fun of playing hooky and hitting up the mall like the ridiculous lovestruck teenagers that we were — I still have those photo booth pictures! So make like my teenage self and play hooky for a day together during the week. The crowds will be less, prices will be cheaper if you stay somewhere, and you will add in that “risqué” element of playing hooky when you shouldn’t. Just skip out on the massive mall cinnamon roll — that’s never a good choice.
Turn Off The TV
I enjoy some trashy reality TV after the kids have gone to bed as much as the next woman, but there is also something incredibly intimate to be said about simply turning off the TV at night and just sitting and talking with your partner. Some of our best conversations happen late at night, with darkness spilling into our living room and the blessed silence of children sleeping above us. And I usually find that the sense of closeness will just happen to stay with us for a while afterwards as well…
Show Real Interest
At the end of the day, sometimes the very last thing I want to do is ask my husband how his day went. Right now, he’s working on a million and one woodworking projects — something I honestly have no interest in whatsoever — and often times, I’m tempted to give him the ol’ nod and smile. “Oh, hmm-mmm, that sounds nice,” when he tells me how his day went. But then I remember how awful I feel when I think he isn’t interested in the exciting exploits of my day (But no, really, you should have seen your son! He went potty twice, it was awesome!), so I muster up my wifely enthusiasm and pay attention. And what do you know? Usually I actually end up enjoying the discussion that ensues…who would have thought talking amongst spouses would be a good thing?
Give Him Space
And then, there comes this weapon in my arsenal of marriage tactics. As a stay-at-home mom and an often-pregnant woman, I admit that sometimes, I get a bit, well needy, is the word. I count the hours until my hubby comes home, OK? I enjoy having him here, not just because he’s the man I married, but because he’s another living, breathing human adult who can help me wrangle the munchkins — plus he’s a better cook than me. But when I try to hoard his every free moment like the chocolate treats in the secret kid-free cupboard, it tends to make both of us cranky. So I’m learning to back off, give him his own space, and meanwhile, cultivate my own kid-free interests so we can start the cycle all over again.
Image via fivehanks/Flickr
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