It’s a new year, and swarms of singles are logging online to find love. For most of us, “meet the one” is at the top of our New Year’s resolution list. I, on the other hand, am just happy to be happy, healthy and successful. Still, I’m excited for what’s to come in 2014 — including the L word. I am ready to meet someone who I connect with in mind, body and spirit. I want to be in love again, y’all. And there’s no time like the present.
Once again, I joined an online dating site. This time I am trying HowAboutWe. It’s my first time, and I am excited to be on a site that encourages “dating.” I grew tired of chats about the weather and my karaoke hobby. I like to interact. Let’s get offline! It’s how we can truly connect and feel out chemistry. HowAboutWe may be perfect for me.
The dating platform isn’t the only change I am implementing. This time I am taking the lessons of 2013 and applying them when interacting with men online and off. I refuse to ignore my intuition, even when it’s clear that a man isn’t into me. My ego will just have to sulk in the corner and deal with the rejection alone.
Now I know the signs. I realize when a man isn’t interested. Here are 7 signs that your online dating match isn’t that into you.
Inspired by YourTango.
1. He asks for more photos before the date
When he asks you to send him more photos before your first date, he’s not sure if he’s attracted to you. That’s a sure sign that he is weary about the date, and you. Men are visual creatures. If he’s second guessing your beauty, he’s doubting his interest.
2. He says you don’t look like you
Last summer, my first date after being newly single was with a man whom I met online. As we sat down to eat dinner, he said, “You look different.” I gulped. Was he calling me ugly? I thought. “You actually look better in person than in your photos.” He finished. Well, that was a relief. But this isn’t how it always goes down. Oftentimes, when a man says “you don’t look like your photos,” he is saying you misrepresented yourself online. That’s never a good sign.
3. He doesn’t mention a second date
When a man is into a woman, his emotions get the best of him. So much so that they begin planning the second date on your first date. He’ll ask what you’d like to do and when you’re free, and you haven’t even finished dessert. If he does not mention seeing you again, bid him adieu. ‘Cause you won’t.
4. He doesn’t ask you questions
Men know that to date a woman you must ask questions to said woman. It’s Dating 101. Plus, if you are on a date with a man you met online, he should want to get to know you more. It’s your first official face-to-face meeting. If he’s mum, he may not be interested. The only exception is if he seems nervous, or if he’s already told you he’s shy.
5. He emails you but never sets up a date
Men who date online email multiple women at once. That’s the beauty (and nightmare) of online dating. You can connect with as many men and woman as you want. The world is your oyster. So if he only emails you he’s not that into you or if it’s been weeks and he’s never asked for your number or set a date, you’re probably one of the many women he’s chatting up. And he may never take you out on that date.
6. His body language is off
Men and women are the same in many respects, including how we express ourselves through body language. If your online date isn’t facing you, or he isn’t touching your arm from time to time and showing any affection, he’s not that into you. This is the first time you are meeting. He should be mesmerized, not have a look of boredom on his face.
7. He takes a long time to respond to emails
When you’re chatting with a potential online match, he should be interested enough to respond to your email in a timely fashion. If he hasn’t replied in a week, he may be busy. If he doesn’t reply in over a week, he isn’t into you. Take my story as an example. A guy from HowAboutWe emailed me. I checked out his profile and was interested, so I replied. He then emailed me almost three weeks after my email. I could have responded, but it was clear that getting to know me wasn’t a priority. And we should always be important. If a man is into you, you will always be.