When my husband and I were dating, I can remember hanging out at his house on the weekend, and chatting with his mom as she folded laundry at the kitchen table. I watched her neatly fold my future father-in-law’s underwear into careful piles and internally shook my head in dismay, thinking:
No way will you ever catch me folding my husband’s underwear when we’re married. Can you imagine?!
Looking back, I can only chuckle at how little I knew about marriage and how much my perceptions about married life would change. There are a lot of things I thought I would never do when I got married.
And then, of course, I got married.
And I ended up doing almost all the things I once vowed would never cross my ring-clad life, like …
1. Fold my husband’s underwear.
For some reason, I saw folding my husband’s underwear as the ultimate sign of female oppression. I mean, really, it’s underwear. Why on earth would it need to be folded? Little did I know, my day would come. Unlike my underwear and unless your man happens to be fond of male thongs, those boxer briefs actually really do require folding to fit into the drawer. Darn it.
2. Ignore my husband when he walked in the door.
Me? Fail to greet my husband with anything other than a kiss and a hug when he came home from a long day of work? Never! Until we had four kids and a newborn and nobody napped and we’re all still in our pajamas and oh, you’re home? Put some pants on this kid, would ya?
3. Look forward to sleeping alone.
You know all those cutesy stories about the little old couples who spent every night of their 99 years intertwined together in a twin bed? Yeah, that will never be us. Because the nights when my husband “accidentally” falls asleep on the couch and I have the bed to myself? Well, they’re not so bad after all.
4. Choose sleep over sex.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Ok, I’m done, I swear. But first — hahahahahahaha.
5. Wonder if life could have been different.
Maybe there was a time in my life that I believed in the concept of soul mates, but the older I get, the more I realize that commitment trumps passion and choosing love is a day-by-day, sometimes minute-by-minute decision.
6. Fall in love with someone else.
I didn’t think our marriage had room for anyone else — until we became parents. Not only did our love expand to include babies #1, 2, 3, and 4, but I found that all it took was one baby-sleeping-on-his-chest moment to make me fall in love with my husband in a completely new way.
7. Fight over nothing.
I mean, I probably should have seen this one coming, but honestly, I couldn’t have anticipated the way that stress, sleepless nights, and incessant screaming (the baby’s, not mine, that is) can make you pick a fight over the most meaningless things. The good news is, I think that the baby phase of a marriage really does make it stronger once you make it through. I think so, anyways. I’ll let you know when we make it through.
Image via j&j brusie photography
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