7 Ways My Parents' Divorce Affected Me and My Love Life

Divorce. Who hasn’t experienced it? Not many people can say that they haven’t. Whether you are a child of divorced parents, or you are going through a divorce as I type, the D word is universally known.

My parents divorced before I could even walk. However, their tumultuous relationship lasted for ten more years. It was off and on. It was harmful and predictably inconsistent. I often wish they would have called it quits when they officially called it quits.

So, maybe this post should have a different title. Maybe I should write about how my parents divorce followed by their reunion and then separation affected me. But that gets way too complicated. Whether they divorced when I was two or 15, my family was broken. And these are the seven ways that my parents’ divorce affected me and my love life.

  • The D Word 1 of 8
    Love Crumpled

    Sorry Mami and Papi! But you're divorce did a number on my tender heart. Here's how my parents' divorce affected me and my love life. Photo Credit: Flickr Creative Commons. 

  • Lingering Trust Issues 2 of 8
    Be Open to Love

    Witnessing my mother and father's off-and-on relationship and eventual divorce gave me serious trust issues. If  I can't depend on my parents to get it right, how can I trust anyone else? Trusting men has always been an issue because my mother didn't trust my father. Trusting men has never come easy for me.  Photo Credit: Flickr Creative Commons. 

  • Fear of Abandonment 3 of 8
    Sad Love

    After my parents were officially over, my relationship with my father changed. I saw him less. He called less. Eventually, he just stopped coming around. He stopped all communication. At 35, I still struggle with my fear of abandonment due to my father and his role in my life (or lack thereof) after their divorce. Photo Credit: Flickr Creative Commons. 

  • Love of Bad Boys 4 of 8
    Don't See Love

    My father was a bit of a bad boy. And so I have always attracted bad boys. This was the case even more so when my parents separated. I guess I just wanted a substitute. I was attracted to men who reminded me of my father because my father was no longer in my life when my parents divorced. Photo Credit: Flickr Creative Commons. 

  • I’m a Love Skeptic 5 of 8

    I didn't think happily ever after existed. My parents divorced. They had a rough relationship even though they loved each other. So I believed that love couldn't conquer all. That love was all fluff. I couldn't be vulnerable, because love was all BS. It took me a while to realize that love is beautiful, not scary, and that it is worth it. Photo Credit: Flickr Creative Commons. 

  • Fear of Commitment 6 of 8
    Wedding Love

    As much as I want love, I am afraid of commitment. The first commitment that I ever witnessed was my parents' marriage and that didn't end well. So why would it be any different for me? That has run through my mind many times when I am dating and considering a commitment with a man. Photo Credit: Flickr Creative Commons. 

  • I Missed Out on a Male Presence 7 of 8
    Father and Daughter

    I missed out on father/daughter moments. My father didn't teach me how to defend myself or how to handle boys, especially bad boys. I never had a male figure in my life to stare down the boys who courted me. I missed those lessons due to my father's irresponsibility after the divorce. Photo Credit: Flickr Creative Commons. 

  • I Have to Work at Loving Myself 8 of 8
    Love Me

    Loving myself wasn't easy. I didn't think I was lovable because somehow (like many children) I felt at fault for my parents' separation, and especially my father's abandonment. I have worked on loving myself all my life. But it hasn't been an easy journey. I've made many mistakes and have doubted my worth. I know it would have been different if my parents had a healthy relationship and stayed together. Alas, I love myself now. And the present is what matters. Photo Credit: Flickr Creative Commons. 

Read more by Sujeiry Gonzalez and get relationship advice on Be sure to follow her on FacebookTwitterInstagram and Pinterest.

Article Posted 3 years Ago
share this article
facebook twitter tumblr pinterest
See Comments
what do you think?
share this article
facebook twitter tumblr pinterest
See Comments
what do you think?
what do you think?
close comments

Videos You May Like