9 Things I’d Give Up Sex for (Besides My iPhone!)

They say: I’d rather give up sex than the use of my cell phone. The “they” that I speak of is women surveyed by AVG Technologies, an infamous Internet and mobile security provider. AVG Technolgies conducted the study that found that women are so reliant on their mobile devices, they rather give up a romp in the sack than let go of their Androids and iPhones.

I can see it now. Facebook update: Make love to me, iPhone.

How many women are we talking? Fifty-seven percent! To these women, I ask: how bad is the sex you’re having that you rather check your email and post on Facebook than get it on? Don’t get me wrong — I am also attached to my phone. I use it as an alarm. I sit it on my nightstand like it’s a quenching glass of water. I even take it to the bathroom (don’t judge me!).

So, this got me to thinking of what other things women would give up sex for. Without further ado, here are the top 9 things women rather have than sex. And by women, I mean me.

  • Makeup 1 of 9

    My momma taught me to never leave the house without applying my lipstick. So I cannot imagine being fresh faced forever. My lips don't want to be naked! I've convinced myself of this and that I was probably born with a fuschia pout. So, keep your Johnson in your pants, man, and buy me some eyeliner.

    Photo Credit: Sujeiry Gonzalez

  • Alcohol 2 of 9

    I love to have a cocktail or two (or three). What can I say? It helps me unwind and socialize. Plus, it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. So, no, I cannot give it up for sex. If I drink myself to sleep then I won't know what I'm missing anyway.

    Photo Credit: Sujeiry Gonzalez

  • Chocolate 3 of 9

    The sweet taste of hazelnut chocolate is kind of orgasmic. Since orgasms aren't always guaranteed, I much rather devour chocolate and have it melt in my mouth than a so-so sexual experience. If I want to keep it extra sexy cause I miss sex I can just lick chocolate off my own finger. 

    Photo Credit: Sujeiry Gonzalez

  • Television 4 of 9

    I didn't have cable for a week and I thought I was going to die of boredom. I don't know about you all but I never feel that way when I don't have sex for weeks. That's why I rather keep Grey's Anatomy, Project Runway, Breaking Bad, SCANDAL, The Vampire Diaries, and every other show that I watch religiously than give it up for sex.

    Photo Credit: Sujeiry Gonzalez

  • Nail Polish 5 of 9
    Nail Polish

    I have an addiction to nail art. Every Sunday I paint my nails and create a masterpiece. That's why I cannot give it up! I mean, look at those pretty musical notes. If I get horny, I'll just pain a body part of two on my pinky.

    Photo Credit: Sujeiry Gonzalez

  • Macbook 6 of 9

    "Dear Macbook, you make me so happy. I can do so much with you!" Yes, I just began a love letter to my computer, which is why I could never give it up for sex. Besides, my livelihood as a writer depends on it! It won't be fun having sex on a curb because I don't have a home.

    Photo Credit: Sujeiry Gonzalez

  • Jewelry 7 of 9

    Just like Lisa Vanderpump and Zsa Zsa Gabor, I like my bling. My neck feels so naked if I don't have a necklace draped around it. Not to mention the diamond ring my soon-to-be husband will plant on my ring finger. I can kiss that rock all day.

    Photo Credit: Sujeiry Gonzalez

  • Hair Dryer 8 of 9
    Hair Dryer

    My hair is naturally curly, which means I look like a muppet (or The Bride of Frankenstein depending on my hair's mood) if I don't straighten it once and awhile. That's where my hair dryer comes in. And I could not live without it. You can take sex away for months at a time and I rather have my dryer with me by my side. 

    Photo Credit: Sujeiry Gonzalez

  • The World Wide Web 9 of 9
    babble website

    I can go on and on about how the Internet is a magical creation that has changed the world forever, or just point out that without it you wouldn't have been so entertained reading this here story. Enough said, right? Right!

    Photo Credit: Sujeiry Gonzalez


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Article Posted 3 years Ago

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