A Valentine’s Fill-In-the-Blank Love Letter for Emotionally Stunted Lovers

Perhaps you’re like me and live for validation and praise from your partner. However, if you do get the full dose of validation and praise from your partner then that is where our similarities end. You see, I married a man who shows his love through hard work, which is super comforting and safe, but at the same time, it can be slightly frustrating when stupid holidays like, oh, Valentine’s Day come around. If you’re familiar with the 5 Love Languages®, continue on. If you’re not, here’s a quick overview. My husband Cody shows his love in acts of service, I show love through words of affirmation and a side of physical touching.

You see, there’s no Hallmark card that says, “I love you so much I’ll work as hard as I can so you can stay home with our children, and I’ll do the dishes every night because I know how much you hate them.” Not that he would even go to Hallmark to get a card, unless Addie reminded him to, and even then he’d let Addie pick out the card which means on Valentine’s I’d get a card with a Disney character on the front with some generic wish of love and kisses.

Here’s the thing, I have been in relationships where I got my fill of sweet words and adoration, mostly because the guys giving them to me weren’t working towards being anything more than what they already were. They had no long term plans, no dreams of becoming something more than what they were which meant they had plenty of time to sit around and tell me how pretty I was. When I first met Cody, he told me he wanted to become a lawyer. The boyfriend I had before Cody wanted to figure out how to do a keg stand without anyone holding his legs.

Despite growing up with three sisters, Cody hasn’t always been the best with fulfilling my need for words of affirmation and physical touch. Even he’ll admit he can be a dunce when it comes to the care and feeding of his emotionally passionate wife. We’ve learned to balance out our differences over the years and find a way to hum along with love, acts of service, kind words and physical touch, but there are still times I want him to use adjectives and superlatives to express his love for me. Knowing that I’m not alone in my wants and needs, I decided to make things easy for Cody and other partners out there who may not have the easiest time expressing their feelings by creating a fill-in-the-blank love letter. Feel free to use it for yourself or anyone else you feel may benefit from an easier way to show they care.

Dear (petname),

Happy Valentine’s Day to you, my (adjective) (noun.) So many times I find myself lost in thought over your (adjective) (body part.) The way that it/they (verb) over my (body part) when you (verb). There is nothing more I love at the end of a (adjective) (adjective) day than to (verb) with you on the (noun.) I know I’m not the greatest at showing you how much I care, but just know I carry you in my (body part) all day. I cannot (verb) my life (adverb) you, the feel of your (body part) (verb ending in -ing) against me is the closest I will ever come to (place.) I dream of (verb ending in -ing) (food) off the curve of your (body part) then falling asleep with you (verb ending in -ing) in my arms as we talk about our wishes, hopes, dreams and (pop culture reference.) I’m the (adjective ending in -st) (your gender) in (location) with you (adverb) my (noun.) Here is today and every (month and date) I get to (verb) with you in the (plural noun.)

Sincerely yours,

(your name here)

So it’s a start. If nothing else your highly emotional lover cannot complain you didn’t put any effort into Valentine’s this year, just trying to help!

I don’t like Valentine’s, I used to — and I’ve learned that when I keep my expectations super low the day always ends up a lot better than I had hoped for. But sometimes I don’t want to keep my expectations low, sometimes I want to hope with all my hopes that I will wake up to a chorus of choreographed cats that Cody trained (and that I get to keep.) But in the end I am in love, and I get to be in love the other 364 days of the year. And that is (adjective) enough.

Article Posted 4 years Ago

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