“An Open Letter to My Husband” originally appeared on The Good Men Project, and was reprinted with permission.
Thank you for supporting me in being the rock I needed you to be, when I wasn’t always so strong.
Thank you for being there for me in my darkest hours, even though you were hurting too.
Thank you for being committed to me and never leaving me, even when I asked you to, so that you could be with someone who could give you the family you wanted.
Thank you for coming to all my doctor’s appointments when you were really busy at work. You took the time to be by my side, even though you had been to these appointments a hundred times.
Thank you for being my friend, in listening to me and understanding my need to keep trying for a baby.
Thank you for never faulting me or burdening me with blame for not being able to give you a baby.
Thank you for believing in me, and having faith in me, even though the experts told us the odds were against us.
Thank you for being so willing to try again and again, even though five years of fertility drugs felt like your wife had turned into Jekyll and Hyde.
Thank you for understanding the never-ending cycle of my disappointment every time my period came each month.
Thank you for supporting me every time I grieved the failure of an IVF cycle.
Thank you for wanting me affectionately and intimately throughout my pregnancy and changing body.
Thank you for allowing me to have my emotional, hormonal moments and never holding it against me.
Thank you for not getting upset with me when the house is messy, even though you have OCD and it drives you crazy.
Thank you for never complaining about eating chicken quesadillas or spaghetti for the last year, because most days I’m too tired to make anything else.
Thank you for never noticing that my legs and bikini needed to be desperately waxed, because my skin was just too sensitive during pregnancy to maintain regular waxing.
Thank you for telling me that you love the way I look, even though I have been living in jeans, sweats, and t-shirts and ponytails for the last year.
Thank you for finding me as desirable as the day we first met, even though I have a scar from my C-section and still carry an extra 20 pounds.
Thank you for supporting me and encouraging me to breastfeed our baby girl, even when I became so frustrated and uncomfortable; without your help I may have given up more easily.
Thank you for taking time off from work after our daughter was born, so that you could help me adjust to being a new mom.
Thank you for taking our baby every weekend mornings to Tim Horton’s to get a coffee, so I could get the sleep I need to be a better mom and wife.
Thank you for only having eyes for me at the poolside on our holiday in Vegas, even though I don’t look nearly as good in a bikini as everyone else.
Thank you for hiring a house cleaner to help me out, because you understand how fast my day goes by and it seems nothing ever gets done.
Thank you for happily eating the supper I finally made for you, even though the chicken is overcooked, the corn is over-boiled, and the potato is over-baked because I got busy with the baby and forgot about supper.
Thank you for remaining faithful and loyal to me, even though I may not have as much time for you right now with a new baby.
Thank you for being patient with me, even when I’m freaking out because I only had one hour of sleep the night before.
Thank you for treating me as your wife first, even though on most days it feels like I’m just a mom.
Thank you for respecting me as a friend, even though my day may not always be as interesting as yours, you still show interest in what I did that day.
Thank you for reminding me that even though my life is about nursing, burping, cleaning up puke, changing diapers and caring for our daughter, I am still beautiful and sexy and nothing has changed between us.
Thank you for respecting my body, when I’m just too tired and run down, you offer a back massage with no motive.
Thank you for trusting me in being your daughter’s stepmother, allowing me to be an integral part of her life, even though I had no prior experience in being a mom.
Thank you for taking our daughter every weekend out for breakfast and to a play place so that I can have a nap, even though you are just as tired as I am.
Thank you for making the effort and enforcing our date nights every week, even when I’m tired, cranky, and have no energy to leave the house.
Thank you for supporting me in staying home, so I can raise our daughter in a loving, nurturing, supportive, fun, and exploring way that is in line with our family values.
Thank you for being my husband, and thank you for loving me.
More from The Good Men Project:
- How my miscarriage brought out my husband’s need to nurture
- The dirty relationship secrets every successful couple has
- What I’ve learned about relationships from my marriage