“Never, ever, go to bed angry.”
It’s a piece of marital advice every newlywed has heard from experienced couples whose marriages have survived years of trials and tribulations, laughter and loss. But if you are anything like me, you know that sometimes this particular piece of advice is nearly impossible to follow. Some arguments simply feel too big, too important, or too impossible to reach a common ground on before it’s time for bed and someone storms off to the couch.
But, as one woman from Somerset, England tragically reminds us, tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. There is always a possibility that the words we speak out of anger and frustration might be the last we say to our loved one.
Ashley Murrell, a 33-year-old mom of three, describes feeling frustrated and angry at her husband, Mikey, who had picked up extra shifts at his job as a carpet cleaner. She explained to Mirror UK that the long hours Mikey was working were getting to be too much, and his health was declining as a result.
“When he came home that night he was a mess, I have never seen him so exhausted. I couldn’t stand seeing him like that and I got angry. I was sick of it,” Murrell lamented.
After a heated argument with Mikey, she sent him to the couch to sleep and went to bed herself.
Devastatingly, Murrell found her beloved husband had passed away on the couch that fateful night. After attempting to wake him, Murrell ran into the street, screaming hysterically and blacked out. Neighbors carried her back into the house, where she continued in a state of shock. “It felt so surreal, I couldn’t process it. I didn’t feel like he was dead, I felt like he had left me.”
Even more tragically, Murrell would later learn that Mikey was picking up extra shifts to surprise her with a trip to Prague for their anniversary, in addition to the hours he worked to take his family to Disney each year.
“I felt so guilty. I was so angry with myself for making him sleep on the sofa. I still find it so hard to think that my last words to him were out of anger,” Murrell expressed.
Still reeling from the heartbreaking loss of Mikey, who is believed to have choked in his sleep, Murrell is now struggling to explain to her young children that their beloved father is never coming home.
Murrell said that “losing Mikey has changed my entire perspective on life. Life is too short to go to bed angry and not to spend every moment you can with your family.” As a mom and wife, I can only imagine the amount of guilt Murrell feels as she struggles to cope with this unimaginable loss.
I hope that by sharing Mikey’s tragic story, she is able to honor their life together and begin to forgive herself along the way.
h/t: Yahoo UK