So here’s the deal: my husband and I don’t go out together very often.
After a long week of work, school events, homework, tennis practice, and everything else in between, our Friday nights are all about Netflix and chill. Okay, maybe not in the post-millennial sense, but we like to pretend we’re about to catch up on the last few episodes of The Walking Dead before snoring on the couch in yesterday’s pajamas.
Sounds romantic, doesn’t it?
Simply put, we’re not into date nights. And I hate being forced to think that my marriage has no chance of surviving just because we don’t dress up, pay a babysitter to get away from our kids, and spend more than we can afford on a hot dinner date. It’s expensive, tiring, and heck, nowhere near as comfortable as just eating late night snacks from Trader Joe’s and sitting around in our underwear in the comfort of our own home.
And that kind of night costs almost next to nothing.
Trust me, we did every single date you can imagine while we were courting and during the first few years of our marriage. Thai food, Indian food, Korean BBQ, pub crawls, bar hops, movie nights, quiz nights, concerts, mini-golf, and everything else in between. It was fun, mostly because it was carefree and I never worried about going to bed way past midnight because I could sleep in as much as my heart desired the following day.
Fast-forward 12 years later, and I have less of an urge to wear heels, put makeup on, and drink a cocktail that only Samantha Jones can pronounce. My husband is the same way (minus the heels and makeup). But still, the pressure is there. Parents are constantly being told how important date nights are in order to reconnect as a couple.
Sorry, but being in a crowded restaurant where we can barely hear (or see) each other just isn’t that appealing anymore. That, and going to a movie theater where we can’t take our shoes off or a fancy gala where I have to look like I’m channeling a Real Housewife just doesn’t sound like much fun. I mean, I’m sure friends and family compare us to hibernating bears and think something must be up because we rarely take couples selfies on Instagram or talk about how much we loved that new sushi hotspot or film that just premiered.
Celebrity couple Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel, who welcomed their first child Silas back in April, know what I’m talking about. They’ve rarely left the house since Silas was born, so much so that they quipped about it during a special gala in Beverly Hills last month.
Timberlake joked that it was odd to spend time with so many people who didn’t smell like “poopy diapers” while Biel added that they are absolutely “okay with that.”
And so are we.
But of course that doesn’t mean that every couple needs to hibernate on their couch in yesterday’s pajamas while watching a marathon of the last season of Mad Men. If dressing up, going out, and socializing with grownups feels right for you, then by all means go for it! For us, it’s just too exhausting and expensive to do it every single weekend.
Plus, I know that this is just a stage in our lives. Our kids won’t always be this little forever. When they are older and more self-sufficient, that will be the perfect time for my husband and I to catch that second wind in our sails. For now, I want to be there for my kids to enjoy every single kiss and cuddle before my future tweens wipe my smooches away with an emphatic, “EWWWWWW!”