He says add sugar, I say SHUT YOUR MOUTH

Sugar free is the way to be! Say it with me!

My husband Tate and I have spent the past two weekends building a rock wall border along the side of our driveway.  The wall looks pretty amazing for being completed by two people who had no idea what they were doing.  While we were standing back and admiring all of our hard work, it struck me that the most beautiful thing about the whole project was that it wasn’t going to be the cause of the end of our marriage.

Home improvement projects usually leave us silent and glaring, vowing to NEVER work together EVER again.  It’s a real shame that we finally after ten years of marriage were finally able to complete a project without teeth gnashing and heartache only to have our relationship derailed by something as simple as macaroni and cheese.

Today after church, where he OBVIOUSLY wasn’t paying attention to the part about being good and holy, Tate made the kids macaroni and cheese for lunch.  I was going to make he and I some chef salads, but I had full intentions of eating the leftover macaroni and cheese straight out of the pan, which is of course calorie free if eaten that way.  He followed the directions on the blue box, boiling the noodles for 9 minutes and adding the butter, milk, and powdered cheese.  And then, it’s almost too horrible to say, he added a tablespoon of sugar.

I know.  I couldn’t believe it either.  I stood there looking at him, shocked, my mouth open in a combination of double-u-tee-eff and disgust.

“Why did you have to go and ruin perfectly good macaroni and cheese? I asked with my own tablespoon of DISDAIN.

He said something about his “mother” and his “childhood,” but all I could see was a whole pan of my hopes and dreams ruined.  I was going to have a crappy salad with no macaroni and cheese reward at the end.

“You don’t know what you’re missing,” he tried to convince me.  “It’s delicious.  Look at the kids!  They love it.”

I mean, I’ve seen my kids eat their own boogers, so their opinion doesn’t carry a lot of weight, you know?  I like my boxed macaroni and cheese to taste like boxed macaroni and cheese, not like boxed macaroni and cheese with sugar added.

One of my favorite things in the whole world is actually homemade, not from a box, macaroni and cheese, the kind that’s baked and has a yummy crust of melted and brown cheese on top.   I even collect macaroni and cheese recipes for those rare occasions that I have more than 15 minutes to prepare lunch.  Some recipes are for the creamy style, others are for the custard style made with eggs.  Not one of those recipes calls for tablespoon or even a pinch of sugar, though!

“I bet LOTS of kids grew up eating their macaroni and cheese with sugar,” Tate practically nanny nanny boo booed.

Which, really, that’s completely crazy.  Right!?!?

Revenge, in telling him that you all agree with me, will be a dish best served cold, and without a tablespoon of sugar.

photo credit: D Sharon Pruitt

Article Posted 5 years Ago

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