“I’m Like a Facebook Timeline”: How Putting on a “Happy Face” May Be Keeping You Single

SmileI don’t think I’ve ever let a man truly see me. Sure, they’ve checked me out and spun me around, but they haven’t seen Sujeiry at her best and her worst.

To shed our skin and allow someone else to see our ugly side — our not so sunny side — is frightening. That is what it means to have true intimacy with another, to be vulnerable. When we do this — really show ourselves — that’s when we are ready to commit to another.

Instead, I show my sunny disposition. I smile. Nothing is ever a big deal. I hide my disappointment and my sadness. I put on a happy face even when I feel like lying in a fetal position and sobbing. It’s like I am a Facebook timeline. Few people are truly open on social media. We choose the parts that we reveal. We show the good times and happy moments in our marriage. We share the positive aspects of life to our “friends.” So much so that our lives (and our timelines) are inundated with inspirational quotes.

We’re all yogis now.

This is one of the things that leads us to hide our true feelings. We don’t want to rain on someone else’s parade. We want to be happy because thoughts become things! If I truly show my insecurities, fears and crazy to a man, will he want me? Or will he run for the hills?

This fake “happiness” is what keeps us single. No one is happy every minute of the day. We all have moments where we feel like screaming and crying, moments where we doubt our choices. Yet we learn that it is not okay to feel it, sit in it, dwell in it. Thoughts become things, after all. We have to shake it off. We have to bounce back. We have to keep our chins up because so many others have it worse. We have to be grateful!!!

So, we — I — put on a happy face. I show my sunny disposition. I smile. I do not reveal my true self. And that’s what is keeping me single.

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Article Posted 3 years Ago

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