How Breakups Are Different When We Are Older

How Breakups Are Different When We Are Older

Breaking up is hard to do but it is less hazardous when we are older. I am recently single (a month and a half and counting) and I am doing well. I didn’t expect the relationship to end when it did. In my gut, I knew it would. Still, there was a shock when I said the words, “We need to break up.”

I won’t bore you with the logistics of yet another love affair gone awry. Instead, I will share my insight on how breakups are different when we are older.

Less Emotional Upheaval

In my 20s: When going through a breakup in my 20s, well, I was a hot mess. I took to drinking my woes away and found myself sobbing at a bar once or twice. Needless to say, bartenders became my BFF’s. I even dated a few.

In my 30’s: Now, at 35, I break up with a guy and I’m like, “Eh.” I am no longer overcome with dramatic emotions. Sure, I cry and am a bit somber, but I don’t feel broken. I know that I will overcome the loss of that relationship because I have before. What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.

An Acceptance of What Is and What Won’t Be

In my 20s: A breakup occurred and I could not move on. I would stand my ground and hope for a reunion. I was a bit of a hopeless romantic, believing that if I wished for it hard enough it would indeed be. I waited a long time for many men that never came back. Those who did still didn’t treat me or love me the right way. 

In my 30’s: Acceptance just happens, particularly during this last breakup. I knew the relationship needed to end and so I just let go. There’s a maturity in this that doesn’t come easy and often only comes in time and with age.

Keep It Moving

In my 20s: A man would break up with me and I would act like a nun. I didn’t date. I didn’t flirt. I just refused to move on. I was stubborn and so closed off. I took every breakup personal, like there was something wrong me. That had a lot to do with my issues with my father.

In my 30’s: Now, I keep it moving. I open myself up to what may come instead of shutting down. I know that I am a good person, a great girlfriend, and an amazing woman. And that’s the difference. I know there isn’t anything wrong with me. I am not perfect but I am not broken.

And that is the beauty of breaking up in our 30s.

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Photo Credit: Flicker Creative Commons 

Article Posted 3 years Ago

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