I haven’t read Melissa Gorga’s new book, Love Italian Style. By the sound of it I don’t need to. Many websites have trashed her marital advice. Jezebel even called it a cry for help. Since its release, there’s been major backlash. Melissa has had to defend her theories and her marriage.
So, what’s the big deal? What is so bad about Melissa Gorga’s book? Let’s take a peek, shall we? Here are a few excerpts to dissect:
In the beginning, Joe wanted to have sex every single day, at least once, if not twice or three times…If I didn’t give it to him once a day, he’d get upset.
I can do something that pisses him off on a Monday, but if we had sex on Sunday night, it blows over more easily. But if we haven’t done it for two days and I give him attitude? It could be a huge fight.
I agree with Melissa to an extent. I believe sex is important in a marriage. I have no qualms with having sex every day, at least once a day. Two to three times a day is pushing it, especially when kids come along. In the beginning, when dating, sure, it’s possible. It’s fun to shag your man as many times as you desire. But that’s my issue with Melissa’s statement. It reads as if she sleeps with Joe out of obligation, not desire. It reads as a manipulative tactic. And that is so unhealthy in a relationship.
A woman needs to keep herself in shape. She has to be seductive. She must be willing to try new things for her husband’s pleasure and her own. And, most important, she has to be available for sex.
I agree with Mrs. Gorga. I believe that women need to primp and press and look just as fabulous when they are married as they did when they were just dating. Bodies change, sure. We get older. But that doesn’t mean I have to let myself go. I know many women who are married who rarely comb their hair. They don’t even put on lipgloss. Not to say that makeup is a must. But, if you rocked false lashes and hair extensions before marriage at least put on the lashes from time to time. And men should do the same. This isn’t just a woman thing, as Melissa lays it out. As a unit, a couple should work to please one another and look their best for their significant other.
But that’s not Melissa and Joe’s style. The excerpts of her book indicate that their marriage is all about Joe. She is his sex slave. Joe is the boss. It’s his way or no way. And his way is all sex all the time. If she refuses, well, he’ll stray. Same goes for all men. At least that’s what Melissa says.
The way I see it, if a wife is a puttana, her husband will never feel the urge to go outside the marriage to actual whores, or strip clubs. He won’t hit on women in bars, or drool over his friend’s girlfriends or the secretary. He’ll rush home to his wife, who makes sure he’ll have a good time (the best time) in the comfort of his own home.
Oh Melissa, a man will stray even if you give him some every day. There is more to cheating than sex. There is more to love and marriage than submission and manipulation. Melissa can defend her marital advice all she wants. No matter how she spins it this book reeks of machismo and should be titled Love Caveman Style.
Photo Credit: Flickr.com/janoma.