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After My Split, I Thought Taking Off My Ring Would Break Me — Instead I Felt Empowered

katie smith
Image Source: Katie Smith

My husband moved out of our family home late last winter. Five days later, I found myself slipping off my wedding and engagement rings. I hadn’t planned on doing it so early, but the first night I slept alone in the bed we shared for so many nights, a painful rash underneath the platinum bands appeared.

After sliding them off, I felt relief. My finger could breathe again, and so could I. It was the first time I had removed them since they were placed there over 15 years ago. I’d never taken them off — not even once.

I didn’t think I would feel ready to be without them so soon after separating. When we first decided to end our marriage last fall, I thought I would wait a year or so to remove them. But something about it felt right that Sunday afternoon in March, so I went with it.

That doesn’t mean it wasn’t hard and I didn’t cry for a really long time. You can let something go and mourn it, all the while knowing it was the best thing to do.

It wasn’t about saying goodbye; it felt more like an awakening, an unbecoming, a new chapter.
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Still, I’ve realized something this past year — if you don’t feel ready to do something, but are moving towards it anyway, it means you are ready. Sometimes our soul doesn’t want to wait for our mind to catch up.

I told The Universe a few days later I was ready for a new ring. Not to replace the old, but to represent a new part of me. It wasn’t about saying goodbye; it felt more like an awakening, an unbecoming, a new chapter.

I’d looked in a few jewelry stores and never felt a twinge of anything. But that was what I needed — a twisting of my heart. I wanted to be drawn to my new ring like a magnet. I wanted to see it and know that I couldn’t live without it. Yet, I couldn’t picture it in my mind, nor could I explain it.

But, as it turned out, I didn’t have to. I waited and The Ring found me anyway.

I found a local jeweler whose work is raw and organic. I didn’t want symmetry. I didn’t want smooth; I wanted rough edges and unpredictable lines.

The only thing I knew was that I wanted it to be green and gold; it felt like the opposite of platinum and diamonds. Then I told her what I was going through and where I was in my life — and asked her to do her thing. She picked chrysoprase, a powerful healing stone known to open and energize your heart.

Three weeks after I’d asked her to make it for me, I was sitting alone one evening, thinking of her and my new piece of jewelry, when she sent a message letting me know it was done and would be headed my way. And when it arrived in the mail, I couldn’t get it on fast enough. I slid it on my left ring finger and I immediately felt whole.

It was all I had wanted but wasn’t able to describe. This ring represents what I am going through right now at this very moment.

It is flawed. It is raw and beautiful. And when I look at it and feel its weight on my finger, I know I am meant to be going through this life transition.

We spend so much time asking ourselves if we are ready to do something, and then we wait for a sign, or someone to give us permission. Then, there are the times when something bigger takes over and pushes us to get to the place we are meant to be — even if it we don’t think we are ready.

And when that happens, more often than not, there is something beautiful waiting on the other side.

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