Ridiculous Things My Husband and I Argue About

Image credit: Lisa Quinones-Fontanez
Image credit: Lisa Quinones-Fontanez

When my son Norrin was diagnosed with autism seven years ago, it was a make or break moment in my marriage. I feel lucky that my husband and I have made it past that moment, and after nearly 12 years, I’d say our relationship is pretty strong. But, like most married couples, we still argue — usually about the things most folks fight about: money, parenting, in-laws (let’s not even get started on this one).

But the content matter of our quarrels isn’t always so serious. My husband Joseph and I argue about some really silly things. Sometimes I annoy him; other times, he irritates the living daylights out of me … it goes back and forth. But throughout all of it we manage to find humor, because you can only take yourselves so seriously when fighting about toilet paper.

Here are some of the silliest things we’ve fought about:

Taking Pictures

We are not one of those picture-taking couples, but that’s not to say I haven’t tried. My husband is a comical guy and doesn’t take himself too seriously. Our pictures reflect that. Whenever I pull out a camera, he feels compelled to make a face, scowl (he calls it his “smolder”) or make some kind of pose. I have to preempt any legitimate picture-taking effort with “I want a nice picture.” Sometimes he listens to me. Sometimes.

What’s for Dinner

Determining where to eat (or order takeout from) is a major decision that neither of us ever seems to want to make. The other day I shared this video on my Facebook page because I thought it was hilarious and totally on point.


Joseph didn’t find it as amusing as I did. 

Picking a Movie

Family movie night is supposed to be relaxing right? We own over 300 DVDs, we have Netflix, Amazon Prime and several on Demand channels … yet we never fail to argue over what to watch. We usually start the “what movie do you want to watch tonight” dance in the early afternoon. There have been times when it’s taken so long to pick that by the time we decided, I’m ready to go to sleep.

Socks on the Floor

I have a set routine when I come home from work — I take off my shoes by the door, then I go into my room and change into a sweats and a t-shirt. Joseph usually does the same, except he leaves his socks on. Then a few hours late, he’ll take them off and they’ll stay on the floor, balled up until one of us picks them up. I’m sad to say that after years of marriage, I’ve given up on this fight.

Toilet Paper

I’m very specific. Under, always. He’s a “couldn’t care less, over, under, or it can just rest on the sink” kind of guy.

The Volume of Music in the Car

We have a compact car and powerful speakers. Joseph is like a teenager who loves blasting the music while he drives — it’s like being in a club. Then he wants to have a conversation and has to yell over the music … I refuse to answer until he’s lowered the volume. You can’t have your cake and eat it too!

Dr. Who

Personally, I’m not a fan of this TV show, and I don’t really get the cult following it has. I let him know this when he puts it on, and he responds by trying to explain why Dr. Who is the greatest show ever, as if there’s some piece of information I’m missing. He takes my dislike of the show so personally, it’s as if he knows each and every single character like family.

Chicken Wings

Every single time there is some kind of major sporting event — usually football — my husband just has to have wings. It’s like he can’t do one without the other. I don’t always want to make wings and I don’t always want to order them. But it’s easier to just procure those damn wings than to see him sulk.

His Driving

Whenever Joseph is behind the wheel of the car, I’m a little scared for my wellbeing. I am constantly glancing over at the speedometer, holding on to the hand rests for dear life. When I think he’s going too fast, I tell him to slow down. This is when he really gets annoyed at me, you see — I don’t even know how to drive.

Washing Socks

I am so grateful that Joseph does laundry — truly, I am. And I tell him thank you and express my gratitude. But he leaves the socks inside out when he does laundry and claims that it doesn’t make a difference. There’s totally a difference.

Our Imaginary House

We live in an apartment. We aren’t even looking at houses. But whenever we watch HGTV, we start arguing about houses we’ll never buy, in places we’ll never live. It’s very productive.

The Remote Control

Joseph is a total tech guy and obsessed with perfecting our home theater set-up. Recently, he connected our universal remote to the Xbox so that it’s voice control. I do not like this set up at all. I just want to turn on the TV with a button (which luckily, I can). But Joseph insists on using the voice control. So he’s yelling, “Xbox! ON!” But sometimes he has to say it 5 or 6 times for it to work. When he’s just sitting there yelling at a piece of technology, I don’t understand why he doesn’t just use the remote!

What’s the silliest thing you and your significant other fight about?

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