I’ve tried online dating about a gazillion times. I’m exaggerating but I was the first woman in my group of girlfriends (or of all time!) to set up an online profile to find love. My first attempt was a 3-day Match.com trial. That was in 2004. I was dubious. I was nervous. I felt like a loser. Who goes online to find love? Broken people, that’s who. Or so I thought.
As years passed, online dating has become the norm. I know many couples who met online. Their interaction began with a virtual wink and now they are happily married with children. Because, as Match.com claims, it’s okay to look. Well, I’ve looked. I’ve perused, browed, searched despite my hesitation. And I’ve come up empty.
Perhaps it’s my negative mentality, I thought after the 3-day trial. And so I gave it a real go and became a legit member. For a month, I emailed men, “winked” and went on dates. But there was no spark with any man. My membership was soon over. I swore I’d never go online to find love again. A year later I was at it again. I gave it another go two years later, and again four years after that. I just finished a 6-month round on Match.com just today.
What can I say? I’m persistent. But still single.
So, this makes me wonder: am I doing something wrong? Is online dating just not for me? Maybe it’s not. Or maybe it’s the platform that I am using. So far I’ve tried Plenty of Fish, Match, OKCupid, and even EHarmony. None of them felt right. Meeting men didn’t feel organic. I always felt like I was on a blind date, hoping for a connection and dreading the obvious – that men weren’t truthful online. That was often the case. I met men who were shorter, older, or duller than they stated or appeared to be on their dating profiles. I felt I was investing time and effort emailing men who didn’t light a fire in my heart or my loins. And so I got fed up. I cancelled my membership days before expiration.
But, I’m not done. Maybe, just maybe, I need to try something else, something fresh and new that suits my personality.
I’m joining HowAboutWe.
This site is exactly what I need. You set up a profile, create a date, and men accept or decline. I can browse dates and do the same. It’s about getting offline, moving fast and getting to the nitty gritty. I’m impatient so it works for me. Let’s skip the small talk and a dozen email exchanges. Let’s get together to see if there is a spark. That’s what I am trying this time around. That’s the way I will find love online. Hopefully.