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This Couple Spends Every Weekend “Child-Free” to Focus on Their Relationship

I value dearly the relationship Violet has with her Grandmother and I believe this is one of the most important and influential relationships growing up.
I work hard so that I can provide the best future for the amazing soul we have created. I won’t ever stop believing in her or the strength of the family unit.

If you haven’t heard of 28-year-old Australian model and former Miss Universe contestant Rachael Finch before, the Internet guarantees you will have by now. Finch and her husband, Michael Mizener, are becoming famous, or rather infamous, after admitting they spend every single weekend child-free to focus on their relationship.

Apparently, every weekend their 2-year-old daughter Violet goes to her grandmother’s house, and they get weekends to do whatever child-free activities their hearts desire. Finch believes this arrangement “is incredibly healthy for the relationship.” The Internet however, does not.

After news broke, the trolls descended, questioning why the couple even bothered to have a child in the first place, and criticizing them for turning grandparents into de-facto parents.

In an Instagram post last night, Finch defended her choices, writing:

“A Mother should never be made to feel they are not good enough for their child when they are doing everything they can to keep them safe, happy and loved. Only the parents of a child truly know what is best and should always have faith in their decisions.

I value dearly the relationship Violet has with her Grandmother and I believe this is one of the most important and influential relationships growing up.

I work hard so that I can provide the best future for the amazing soul we have created. I won’t ever stop believing in her or the strength of the family unit.”

I’ll admit when I first heard about her arrangement, my mind went to a place of judgment. You don’t assume the job of parenting with the intent to only work part-time. Aren’t they sharking some kind of parental obligation pawning their daughter off on a regular basis?

But then I thought of my own situation. My kids are with their father every other week. When we came up with this custody arrangement, I can’t tell you the number of people who made snarky comments like, “Wow, I could never be away from my kids that much. I don’t know how you do it.” Gee thanks, that is super helpful.

We do it because our kids have two loving parents who want to spend as much time with them as possible. Because our marriage fell apart doesn’t mean our desire to spend time with our children decreased. We believe it is healthy and essential for our children to have equal time with a mother and father who adore them. Not every child is so lucky.

And what about the parents who choose to work instead of staying home with their children? Yes, for some it is because staying home is not financially feasible. For others, however, it is because they love what they do and desire something for themselves outside of their role as someone’s parent. Does that mean they love their children less? Who says we need to spend 100 percent of our time with our children to be considered “good” parents?

So why should anyone judge these parents for deciding to put their relationship front and center as they raise their child? To allow their child to spend time with another loving family member while they strengthen their bond as a couple? I can think of far worse decisions a parent can make than to safeguard their relationship during the challenging business of raising kids.

Perhaps, we should stop judging other parents so harshly. Who says my way is any better than yours? Parents’ motivations are driven by choice, circumstance, and a million other nuances we know nothing about. If you don’t believe you should leave your child every weekend, then don’t. Plain and simple.

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Article Posted 4 years Ago

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