Warning: 8 Things You May Be Doing to Squash Your Spouse's DreamsRonnie Tyler
I can honestly say that I would not be where I am today in life if it wasn’t for my spouse and my marriage. My husband supports me in anything that I want to do, and he pushes me and challenges me to be better, to do more, and to reach higher. And his support does not just come in words (or lip service), it comes in the form of actions and sacrifice.
Does this mean that if I was single I would not be able to be successful or achieve my dreams? No! But I know that working with my spouse as a team empowers me even more. My favorite marriage quote is from Dr. Tony Evans:
“Marriage is a covenantal union designed to strengthen the capability of each partner to carry out the plan of God in their lives.”
That quote represents the true power of marriage to me…your marriage should strengthen you. Through your marriage, you should be empowered to achieve your purpose here on earth. I see this in my marriage and I have seen this in thousands of couples that we talk to via our website and movie screenings.
Unfortunately, I also believe that your dreams and goals can be crushed in a marriage where the spouses are not working together and are at odds. Yes, marriage can have the opposite effect when spouses are not supportive and when they do everything in their power to discourage their mates.
Do you have a spouse that has this burning desire to achieve something and it will not go away? Are you taking advantage of the power that you have to uplift and empower him/her?
Take a look at the 8 things that some people do to squash their spouse’s dreams. And, then make sure you are using your power to support your spouse and not hinder them. Despite what you hear and see in the media, there are so many benefits that come from being in a healthy marriage. Are you taking advantage of the power that is in your marriage?
By Using Your Words to Crush Their Dreams 1 of 8We have to realize that there is so much power in the words that we speak to our spouses. Through our words, we have the power to build up our spouses and to motivate them. Likewise, we also have the power to crush their spirit and discourage them.
Photo Credit: Daino_16
By Doing Nothing 2 of 8I understand...it's not your dream to become a world famous cupcake maker....You don't even like to bake. So you stay out of it. You don't hinder, but you don't help. You don't stay up until midnight to help your spouse fill a large order. You don't attend events to help set up. You don't provide financial support. You do nothing. You are essentially wasting all the power that you have in your marriage that gives you the ability to strengthen each other. And trust me...whether your spouse says so or not, they notice your lack of support.
Photo Credit: Jaimie Duplass
By Making It Harder 3 of 8This is the opposite of doing nothing. This involves doing everything in your power to ensure that your spouse does not succeed: from adding to their load with unnecessary requests and responsibilities, to creating financial burdens.
Photo credit: Ada Gonzalez
By Not Being Willing to Compromise and/or Sacrifice 4 of 8I get it...you don't want to go broke while your spouse is reaching for the stars. So perhaps he/she cannot quit their job just yet. But be willing to compromise. For instance, you could take up the slack at home in the evenings and on the weekend. And this will give your spouse more time to devote to their goals. But what if it does mean that one day your spouse will have to focus on their dream full-time? And that is where the true sacrifice is going to be needed.
Photo Credit: Peter Baxter
By Using the Kids as an Excuse 5 of 8Yes...someone has to be present for the kids. I get that. But don't use them as an excuse as to why you are not able to support your spouse. If your spouse has an important event coming up, plan ahead and get a babysitter.
Photo Credit: Anissa-Thompson.
By Being Jealous 6 of 8Perhaps you don't have or don't know your dream yet. Or maybe you have to put your dreams on hold at the moment while your spouse is pursuing their dreams. This may cause you to harbor feelings of resentment towards your spouse. When you have feelings like that, I suggest you:
1. Stay positive, and know that when you are supporting your spouse you are doing it for the greater good of your relationship and your family.
2. Communicate let your spouse know how you are feeling so that the two of you together can begin to think about how your needs can be met.
Photo Credit: Rinna Bohui
By Listening to Naysayers 7 of 8There are going to be friends and family members that will not understand what you and your spouse are trying to accomplish. And they are going to try to plant seeds of doubt through their words. But guess what? It doesn't matter what they think..it's not their vision. Stand strong in what you and your spouse have decided to accomplish together.
Photo Credit: Stepanov
By Not Being Patient 8 of 8Your spouse may not produce a profit right away...or ever. And maybe they will see some failures before they see success. Please don't be ready to throw in the towel and say "I told you so" at the first sign of trouble. This is the time that your support will be really needed.
Photo Credit: FuzzCat
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