It amazes me to think my wife and I said “I do” over 14 years ago. I remember the years and months preceding our union, staying up late on the phone saying, “You hang up first” and her replying, “No, you hang up.” (Don’t act like you didn’t play that game too.)
I remember how nervous we were when we discovered she was pregnant. I remember our road trips back and forth to our hometown to visit our parents. And I remember the hot dates and other hot “things” that happened between us.
After 14 years, we have changed and our lives have transformed into something we could have never imagined (we now have three kids and I recently turned 40), but I’m happy to say that I’m still very much into her. But sometimes my actions, according to her, may not convey that. She’s left unable to understand the love I’m trying to send her way. I get it, I don’t communicate my feelings the same way she does … sometimes I communicate them in plain old weird ways.
Men don’t always say “I love you,” but for us, actions sometimes speak louder than words. Here are some things I do to express my gratitude and affection for my wife:
- I ask her to watch the game with me.
- I ask to watch her show, even though I’m not really into it.
- When our 5-year-old asks those hard questions about her body, like “Mommy your butt does (this or that) when you walk,” I lighten it up with jokes.
- I want to sleep in the same bed with her every night. I get upset when she sees I’ve fallen asleep watching TV on the couch and she doesn’t wake me up (by any means necessary) to join her in the bed. I know in her mind she is letting me rest, but there is nothing more comfortable than sleeping next to her.
- I almost knock her down trying to get in front of her to open her door. Chivalry might be clumsy, but it’s not dead!
- I try to bring all of the bags and stuff out of the trunk of the car. I feel she does too much and I like to do it myself so she can take a break.
- I never hesitate to grab or grope (as she says it) her backside.
- I give her a high five or fist bump when she does something I like.
- I wake her up in the middle of the night for a little spontaneous intimacy.
- I work late to earn some extra money or make some extra sales.
- I persuade her not to mow the lawn, even though she wants to do it. Our lawn is no joke. She can handle it, but typically she’s exhausted when done. I’d rather save her the energy.
- I want her to cook most, if not all, of our meals. I can cook too, but my cooking skills are rusty, thus the food taste may reflect it. It’s for her own good … really for all of ours.
- I want to tell her about everything, especially when I’m excited about a new work project.
- I take our kids with me for an activity so she can have some quiet time.
- I ask her to go to bed when she’s tired but trying to push through some work. I encourage her to put herself first, which she rarely does.
- I accept my position as the pest control person of the house.
Whether your man verbalizes it or not, there are some things he does that mean “I love you.” Appreciate them and him, even if it’s not so conventional.
And perhaps over time he’ll learn that you want to hear the words more and learn what makes you feel loved the most.More On