What Does Your Sleeping Style Say About Your Relationship?


My husband and I are not bedtime cuddlers.

In fact, we are the furthest possible thing from cuddlers—neither of us can fall asleep until we are as far away from each other, practically falling off the edge of the massive king-size bed we purchased after the birth of our third child. I sleep contently in a swath of blankets piled around me like a cocoon and occasionally reach out to my husband in the middle of the night…

To smack him when he snores.

Admittedly, sometimes I get a little worried that our separate shenanigans at nighttime are abnormal. Is this how other couples sleep? What does it mean that we can’t stand to touch each other at night?

To find out, I did a little investigating on the types of couples’ sleeping positions and what they say about their relationships.


Tummy sleepers 1 of 9
Tummy sleepers, or those who sleep face-down, are generally thought to be more anxious or fearful types. So if you are in a new relationship and find yourself facing down instead of your normal sleeping position, you may want to evaluate if you are feeling anxious or fearful as a partner.

Photo credit: Flickr/ RelaxingMusic
Back sleepers 2 of 9
Resting calmly on your back is not just a prime position for snoring — it also radiates self-confidence. If your partner is a back sleeper, you can rest assured he is a confident person — or just someone with a really annoying snore.

Photo credit: Flickr/
Intertwined 3 of 9
I once read a story about a couple who slept intertwined, on a tiny double bed mattress, for their entire lives. Not happening here. More than likely, couples who sleep all wrapped up in each other's arms are simply enjoying the intimacy of a new relationship. And they will soon go back to sleeping like the rest of us.

Photo credit: Flickr/ WarmSleepy
The spooners 4 of 9
I love to spoon. It's definitely my preferred cuddle position. There's just something safe and comforting to have my husband's arms wrapped around me. Which apparently, can give some clues into what your relationship is like — or needs. Men who spoon want to show off their protective nature, while women show that they want to be taken care of. Conversely, women who spoon with their husbands want to show off their "nurturing side" according to

Photo credit: marin
Bottom buddies 5 of 9
Touching bums with the one you love is one of the most telling signs about how close you are with your partner, according to an article by . "It really does suggest that you are very close," body language expert Barbara Pease said in the piece. "After all, there probably aren't that many people in your life with whom you could imagine sleeping like this."
True story.

Photo credit: Flickr/ Travis Hurnug
Playing footsie 6 of 9
I have to admit, on nights I am feeling particularly loving, my husband and I will do this one. You know, just a little love foot tap to let your partner know you love him, but you still want to go to sleep without any funny business? "This mere brushing of the legs says, 'I love you'," Allan Pease (Barbara's man, I'm guessing?) said in the article. "Couples who sleep with their legs looped are demonstrating their togetherness, but they are also showing their sense of independence and respect for each other's individuality." I like the sound of that.

Photo credit: Flickr/ jronaldlee
Opposites attract 7 of 9
Couples who sleep as far away as possible, like my husband and I, are "more likely to be more independent individuals" says Dr. Rachel Needle, a Licensed Psychologist at the Center for Marital and Sexual Health and Executive Director of Whole Health Psychological Center of South Florida. "But that doesn't necessarily mean they don't have a healthy and intimate relationship."

Photo credit: Flickr/ scarycurlgirl_photos
Facing-away-from-each-other sleepers 8 of 9
Apparently, this one's pretty common, you guys. According to Dr. Rachel, almost half of people turn away from their partners and sleep with their back facing their partners. Even if you don't scoot as far away as possible to the opposite sides of the bed. Ahem. So no worries on this end if you're a couple who sleeps facing away from each other — you're perfectly normal.

Photo credit: Flickr/ joemanly
Night and day sleepers 9 of 9
I'm throwing this one in there because I have to admit that more often than not, my husband and I simply don't go to bed at the same time. As much as I try to fight it, he simply doesn't require as much sleep as I do and often stays up much later than me. When I am tucked away in my bed at 10 p.m. dozing off to a good book, sometimes I wonder what that says about us and our relationship. Dr. Rachel doesn't have good news for me on this one. "It is a good idea to go to sleep at the same time and even wake up at the same time," she admits. "Some research has shown that in relationships where partners go to bed and wake up at the same time, partners are more content and the relationship lasts longer — and it's also good for your sex life!" Darn it. Maybe it's time to invest in a sleep mask?

Photo credit: Flickr/ MadeEmoiselle Sugar


Photo credit: Flickr/The Falcondale

Article Posted 3 years Ago

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