What Will My Marriage Look Like When the Kids Are Grown?

marrige-without-kidsThe other night, we decided to take the kids out for ice cream — an end-of-the-summer “last hurrah” of sorts.

It took two hours to get out of the house, the baby pooped on my husband, and the two older kids started fighting so badly that we both camethisclose to pulling the plug on the whole thing. If we would have been in the car, I’m certain my husband would have thrown out the, “I will turn this car around!” parenting threat that somehow, we have miraculously never used.

As we finally climbed out of the car at the ice-cream parlor, weary from exhaustion, I looked over at my husband and marveled,

“You know, life won’t always be like this. I wonder what our marriage will look like when we don’t have any kids at home…”

Honestly, the thought almost seems too far-fetched to fathom. We’ve been parents longer than we’ve been married it seems, and life with four kids six-and-under doesn’t leave us a whole lot of time to contemplate the romantic side of life.

But just for fun, let’s take a sneak peak into the future, shall we?


Instead of …

… waking up completely stiff and sore in the rocking chair where I have (yet again) fallen asleep while nursing the baby as the two-year-old starts gleefully shouting that he wet the bed (yet again), I will awaken in a sea of fresh, crisp-white fluffy bed linens, completely refreshed and oddly serene as I smile at my husband next to me. We will kiss each other good morning and not trip over 19,817 dirty diapers that litter our bedroom floor as we make our way out of bed.


Instead of …

… racing around the kitchen with the baby strapped to my chest in hopes of keeping her calm whilst I throw spoons and cereal bowls at the hubs to set out, assembly-line style for what feels like a feeding of pigs at the trough, we will make a leisurely and health-conscious homemade breakfast. Eggs Benedict, anyone? And if we drink coffee in the morning, it will be because it’s delicious and not something akin to blood running through our veins.


Instead of…

… my husband racing to get out of the door in time to drop the kids off at school (Why didn’t you brush your teeth? Where’s your lunchbox?? Oh my gosh, how do you lose ONE shoe?!) before work and me staying home with the littles and clinging to the hope that divine intervention will cause all the kids to simultaneously nap so I can meet my deadlines, we will discuss, with pleasant eagerness, what we have to look forward to in our respective workdays. My husband will head out to his yet-to-be-constructed workshop, where he will create woodworking masterpieces and I will head to my office, where I will create literary masterpieces — and be all alone. Blissfully alone.


Instead of …

… my day-long attempts to get dinner prepped, carefully following along my pre-approved weekly dinner menu that is completely necessary because come five o’clock, I have very few working brain cells left, we can ditch it all and go out to eat, where someone else can cook and clean. Because we can afford it now.


Instead of …

… throwing up a coin to see who gets stuck with baths that night (hint: it’s not me) and the resulting mad rush that is the hellish time of post-dinner and pre-bedtime, we indulge in a leisurely evening, enjoy a glass of wine while recounting the events of our day. Heck, maybe we’ll even fit in a sunset stroll or two. While holding hands, of course. No strollers or diaper bags required, or even strategically-packed snacks to get through said walk. We may laugh at our favorite television program, take in a concert, or even (gasp) read something other than a Facebook feed.

Yes, someday, our marriage will look quite different. And while I definitely look forward to growing old with my husband and hopefully continuing to share in a marriage that is happy and fulfilling, I have to also admit—

I kind of love where we’re at right now, too.


Image via j&j brusie photography



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