I wrote a post about restoring the friendship in your marriage. The first thing I suggested was going back to basics. The point of going back to basics was to jump start the restoration process of a stale relationship.
A good way to do this is to reminisce on your early dating days. The days when you were courting and trying to determine if he/she was the one. Sometimes when life hits and you experience a lot in your relationship, you forget. You forget what attracted you to one another, and you might even forget how you both looked back then if your bodies having gone through some changes.
There was something he used to say, that he no longer says. There is something she did that she no longer does. The longer you are in a relationship the easier it is to function like a business relationship. It takes intention to not be so … boring. The staleness or boredom comes when the emotion of your relationship is missing.
Continually reminiscing can spark those flames again and restore anything that seems to be missing from your relationship.
1. Go to the place you had your first date
This is sure to bring back some special memories. What were your thoughts on that first date? What did he/she say or do that stood out to you? Talk about those things, and relive the moment.
2. Hang out together where you used to hang out back in the day
For my wife and I, we spent some time in the club. We don’t club today, so the club scene is different. We can reminisce, laugh, and people watch the people doing what we used to do.
3. Catch up with some old friends who knew you when you were dating
There are some people who knew you back then. They know some things not everybody knows about one or both of you. Catch up with them and talk about it. There are sure to be some good memories and maybe even some you wish didn’t happen. It’ll make you appreciate being with one another today.
4. If married, visit the spot of your proposal
The restaurant where I proposed is still there but under a different name, and it looks totally different now. But it is still special to us both. I can remember what we were both wearing that evening. In fact, it is probably still in our closets (we are parents of three … our wardrobe is #99 on the list of priorities)! Thinking of that always sparks something.
5. Watch movies and listen to music from your dating days
Thank goodness for Spotify and even Pandora. Every so often we’ll go to my ’90s playlist and listen to the music we used to club to, we used to dance to, and we used to … we used to really enjoy … Music and movies will take you back quickly!
If you need to restart that fire, bring those good emotions back and restore what was lost in your marriage by taking a trip down memory lane. Regardless, it is fun and something different you can do with your spouse.