Ah, the delivery room.
The stuff of movies and memories, jokes and drama. And while back in the day, the mysterious veil between birth and life was kept strictly as women’s business, today’s world paints a different, all-inclusive picture.
I have to admit that the whole delivery process is a bit shocking. Even as a labor and delivery nurse and a mother who’s delivered three babies, I’m still somewhat flabbergasted by the whole process. A what comes out of where?!
So the fact that some men are able to handle watching the women they love deliver a baby with awe-filled ease is always incredible to me.
Because, of course, there are also the ones who handle things a little differently…
A Leg Man
When Jenni Hart’s fiancée witnessed the birth of their twins, he ran into an unexpected bump in the road. “When our first baby girl was out they said, ‘Go ahead, Dad, stand up and take a look,'” she relates. “He stood up and and peered over the sheet and sat right back down white as a ghost.” When the nurses asked him if he was all right, he valiantly replied, “Yeah, I’m just sore from the gym yesterday … it was leg day.”
Them Are Fighting Words, Partner
“Immediately following the birth of our daughter and as the doctor was preparing to stitch me up, [my husband] Jerry leaned over to kiss me and accidentally allowed his sleeve to skim the sterile cloths,” recounts Carrie S., a daycare provider from North Branch. “The doctor went off on him and yelled, ‘You are invading my sterile field!! Get back! Get back!’ “Jerry’s feathers now ruffled, informed the doctor, ” ‘I’m kissing my wife, NOT holding your hand, Doctor!'” A silence came over the room as Carrie looked up at the anesthesiologist and said, “Seriously? My husband is fighting with the man stitching my most vulnerable parts? Should I be concerned??” “You could have heard a pin drop and then everyone laughed. Sheeew!” says Carrie.
Green In The Face
When Amanda Rosen’s nurses told her husband he had plenty of time to grab lunch before it was time to push, he wasted no time in heading to grab a bite to eat. “My husband is a notoriously fast eater and sometimes that backfires for him,” explains Rosen. “This was one of those moments!” She paints the scene of her doula on one side of her and her husband on the other as she got ready to push. “No sooner had I finished that first push did my husband run out of the room to throw up,” she says. “It happened so suddenly that even my OB laughed! To this day, my husband hasn’t lived that down and now the joke is that he shouldn’t eat before a big event!”
Lacy Stroessner of Living on Love‘s husband took a slightly different approach to supporting his wife during her labor. “My husband put on Jim Gaffigan [on Pandora] and we laughed awhile through the not-wanting-to-die-yet labor pains,” she relates.
I’m guessing Maria Moria, an editor at SheKnows.com didn’t have much sympathy for her ex-husband’s complaints during labor. “[He} got food poisoning and started projectile vomiting within two hours of my son’s birth and couldn’t stay at the hospital with us!” she says.
The Walking Dead
Megan Bishop’s husband wasn’t exactly the picture of the doting husband during the birth of their second child. “He bought me a new laptop right before I went into the hospital to be induced,” Megan explains. “He spent the whole night playing Plants vs. Zombies on it. The nurses actually were giving him dirty looks because he was so into the game that he unknowingly had tuned everything else out, and hadn’t realized that my contractions were getting bad until they made him leave the room to put my epidural in. Needless to say, no computer was allowed during labor with [our next baby!]”
A Law-Abiding Citizen
“My husband stopped at EVERY traffic light while I was in active labor because, ‘We have to obey the laws of the land, honey…’ ” laughs Paula Rollo of Beauty Through Imperfection. “[He] then almost missed his daughter’s birth because he was parking the car and trying to remember which bag to bring in for labor. He ended up only bringing in his bag and literally walked into the room during my second (of three) pushes!”
Not all first impressions of father-baby love are so beautiful. Jessi Dye’s husband, upon catching the first glimpse of his cone-headed son after almost 36 hours of labor, blurted out, “He’s an alien, put him back!”
What’s That Smell?
Michelle Beracy’s husband, a vice cop, rushed to her C-section directly from work … where he happened to be cleaning a huge marijuana grow-op. “He asked for scrubs and took a shower in my recovery room before we even went back to deliver,” says Michelle. “Pretty sure the nurses are still laughing or shaking their heads about that!”
“I walked a lot while in labor and [my husband] was with me helping me through contractions,” says new mom Carly. “Maybe an hour after I naturally gave birth he proceeded to tell me his feet hurt from walking so much!”
Another mother recalls her husband took advantage of her labor to munch on a muffaletta sandwich while she wasn’t allowed to eat. “That was four years ago and I can still smell that damned sandwich!” she exclaims.
What’s the funniest thing your partner did during labor?
Image via j&j brusie photography