Say you’re a married lady, and you’re looking to have an affair. I’m thinking you’re sexy, you like sex. Maybe you’re angry at your spouse and you want to get back at him for something, or you’re the kind of woman who is never satisfied, who has an unquenchable lust for power and passion. Maybe you’re bored with the monotony of your stable relationship and you want to feel alive. Whoever you are, you’re gonna go buy some slinky new outfits that make you feel kicky, like you can head out on the prowl and get some in your lace stockings and your push-up bra. And where are you going to go shop for those cheatin’ clothes?
That’s according to Ashley Madison, that God-awful website for married people looking for affairs. The Huffington Post reports, “The site surveyed 52,390 of their female members to determine their shopping habits and favorite stores, and compiled a list of the 10 most popular retail locations for cheaters. The survey also found that women spend serious money on their style when they’re cheating — more than a third of respondents admitted to doubling the amount of money spent on their physical appearance after straying from their spouses.”
The rest of the ten most popular retail spots for cheatin’ wives are … just as lame and surprising as Banana Republic. Take a look:
10. JCPenney – Because nothing says “do me” like a plaid from Liz Claiborne
9. Lululemon – For your pre-cheating yoga tune-up
8. Chico’s – For the lady who wants to cheat in flowing comfort
7. Lane Bryant – Because big girls cheat, too
6. bebe – For the 40-year-old who wants to feel Forever 21 without shopping there
5. H&M – Because it stands for him and me, don’t you get it?! WE’RE IN LOVE
4. Ann Taylor – For the executive who cheats on-the-go
3. Macy’s – For the sales
2. J. Crew – Because after you’ve been having an affair for a while, you’re eventually going to want to wear pajamas in bed
1. Banana Republic – Because you can buy your paramour a matching cardigan
Hat tip to Sunny Chanel!