What type of shoes are you wearing right now? Even if the answer is, “None, because the baby was up four times last night and I haven’t left the house since last Wednesday,” settle down to read about what your shoes say about your mom state of mind. Because the chores can wait, as they usually do.
1. Brown or black flip-flops
You’re strapped for time and it’s spring, summer, or fall. Or winter.
2. Other colored flip-flops
You’re going to the beach.
3. Flip-flops with a wedge heel
You’ve deluded yourself that these can be considered real shoes.
It’s too cold for flip-flops.
You decided to step it up for baby music class because you want to ask another mom for her phone number.
6. Fashionable boots
You’re going to take an Instagram picture of yourself. Alternately, you will be seeing a friend without kids who always looks put-together and cute.
Your mom is cleaning out the attic and found these. You remember vaguely seeing something like them in a store window recently and figured they must be back in style.
You’re really going to exercise. This week. Or next. Either way, they can hide that you haven’t had a pedicure since 2013.
9. Those weird sneakers with a rounded bottom
You’ve given up on exercising but you heard these things can tone your legs. While you sit on the floor and play Legos. Isn’t science amazing?
10. Strappy sandals
It’s date night! You feel fun and young. Until your sitter says she can only stay for two hours because she has a final tomorrow.
You’re going back to work and you forgot that heels aren’t de rigueur anymore. When you trip up the stairs carrying the bucket seat into the daycare center, you’ll give them to your younger sister.
You’ve accepted the fact that changing into pajamas at 6:30 PM is your new normal.
13. Slippers with animal faces
You don’t plan on being intimate with your husband ever again.
14. Socks with rubberized tread marks on the bottom
The hospital gave you these when you gave birth three years ago, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t cute enough for … Oh, just throw these out before you’re tempted to wear them to Target.