10 Signs You’re Madly and Hopelessly, if Not Oddly, in Love with Your ToddlerMeredith Carroll
It’s not as if you weren’t in love with your child the moment you found out you were pregnant. And when they were born! Oh my! The love was deep from the start!
The first smile melted your heart. That tiny little laugh? A masterpiece.
But something happens when the baby becomes a toddler. Something funny and willful and deliberate and kooky and other-worldly. You fall head over heels and there’s no turning back.
Here are 10 signs you’ve got it bad for the toddler in your life:
Poop Noises 1 of 10They stand in the middle of the room or nestle up in your embrace with a red face and a look of iron-clad concentration while making grunting noises as if they are a female professional tennis player.
It's just about the most darling thing you've ever seen.
Early Noises 2 of 10The sun has yet to rise. It's even too early for birds to start thinking about worms. And yet the monitor is cackling with toddler babble, announcing in no uncertain terms that the day has begun. Despite the fact that you just went to sleep, like, four hours ago.
You can't wait to get in there and give your little one's sleepy face a big squeeze and endless kisses.
MmmmmmmmWAH 3 of 10They plant an open-mouth, wet, sticky, messy smooch squarely in that space between your nose and your upper lip.
Like Davy Jones' peck on Marcia Brady's cheek that she vowed to never wash off, you'd like that kiss to be tattooed exactly as it was given for posterity.
Nose Picking 4 of 10You take more delight in picking their nose than your own.
That's true love.
Beautiful Tears 5 of 10They start bawling when they step on a Lincoln Log.
You notice their soulful eyes are an even more exquisite color when filled with tears.
Passing Gas 6 of 10They toot.
Hopping Mad 7 of 10They're furious at you because you made them take a bath/wash their hands/brush their teeth/put on pants.
Your heart swells with pride about how they so articulately express their feelings.
Mama Mama 8 of 10There comes a point where they look at everything, including the sink and the dog's water bowl, and say "Mama."
Your heart bursts with emotion because you know you've become their most-trusted and beloved security blanket.
Inexplicable Glee 9 of 10They have no idea why everyone's laughing and clapping, but they join in the fun anyway.
You wrap them up in your arms and squeeze them extra tightly because if their disposition was any sweeter, there'd be an FDA warning label stamped on their cheeks.
Hand on Heart 10 of 10For the very first time, they reach up to hold your hand while you're walking down the street instead of you grabbing their wrist while they try to wriggle out of your grasp.
Kill you now, because if it gets any better than this, you might just collapse from all the love anyway.