10 Things The Music Industry Has Taught Me About Being a ParentSelena Mills
Music is life. Life is music. It’s a mantra around here that rings very true. One that we covet and fawn over, and incorporate into our daily lives. Without music, our lives would be void of much joy, learning, beauty, art, and personal introspection.
It’s a matter of personal taste really, and mine runs the gamut. I grew up in a home where music was revered and I evolved (in many, MANY stages), to have a deep and abiding love for the world, art, and music. It’s so cliche, but obviously this ahem, “connection” if you will, ran from torrid love affairs with musicians to immersing myself in the industry.
No, not as a Band-Aid. Well, maybe briefly — but that’s another story.
It’s rather obvious, I suppose, that I ended up working as a manager in the industry (however, brief), and with a musician for a partner. Or that I somehow ended up becoming a social media consultant and administrator for brands in the music industry. Some of my best friends are intelligent, thought-provoking, genius musicians. Not all the stage is sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll. At least not all the time. There are many musicians who have families, who are either self-educated or who hold high academic credentials. There are many who are social and cultural advocates who use their voice to make the world a better place.
And before you go all gangbusters on me and call my a hippie or some other less-than-original characterization, watch this documentary. Then tell me that music doesn’t have immense power and ability to change things for the better — or make you a better parent.
Check out the Top 10 Things the Music Industry Has Taught Me About Being a Parent…
To Say Goodbye to Stereotypes 1 of 10When we break free of the stereotypical parental units, we rail against the misconceptions of lowered expectations. Having children changes most people philosophically, I believe, for the better. The same applies to yes, *GASP* dirty rock and or rollers.
Share in the Workload 2 of 10It's our job to share the parental workload. Whether the mister was out till the wee hours gigging, or I was at an event or a concert tweeting and Instagramming away for a band, someone has to wake up stupid early and make an effort to feed, water, and play with our kids. Even though we may be dead tired, taking turns and sharing the day-to-day drudgery of filling up the dishwasher, sweeping the floor, picking up toys (for the zillionth time) and turning the laundry over, etc. -- we help take the pressure off each other.
Making It Work 3 of 10When I think about the choice between working in the music industry and having a musician partner who tours frequently or having a classic-type family (husband who works the 9-5 out of the home), there is no choice. Sure I reflect, but mostly based upon societal expectations of what a family should be. It's imperative that even on the days where I'm exhausted from pulling double-duty on my own, mid-stream during a 2 week tour, that I remember not to dismiss what a good dad my children have. That we chose this life and that we BOTH make sacrifices to lead as such. He misses us, me -- immensely when he's away.
Sacrifice 4 of 10The music industry is a highly self-centered business. As a parent, you don't have much time for that. We are always thinking about each other as a whole. We try harder to find ways on how we can be together as much as possible, and how we can go on the road together instead of being apart. Of course, this all comes with many challenges. Traveling with toddlers? Not for the faint of heart.
Shiny Objects 5 of 10You know that feeling when you hear a really good song? Or better yet -- the lyrics of a song, coupled with the groove and the harmony -- whether it's funky, sexy, or sublime (think folk); when it all just gels for you and it becomes your new (or old) favourite song? Parenthood is like that. That feeling of your flesh raised with tiny goosebumps when your child calls you mama, or takes their first steps, or says, "I love you." The feeling in one's soul between riding a good wave of sonic bliss and a sweet parenting moment is almost identical.
To Stay Organized 6 of 10Life can get WAY chaotic. For all parents. Now, I'm not trying to say it is more so for us, but when both parents are each juggling two different types of careers, and one involves a lot travel away from the family and late nights, well, things can get out of control really fast if we don't stay organized. If we don't stay on top of the littlest of things like laundry, weekly chores, running errands and grocery shopping, we're done for. Everything always has to be planned out way in advance, our schedules have to constantly be aligned and in-sync. Constant communication is vital. So yes, I am saying that musicians and their entourage, especially the parent-kind, we're HELLA organized.
There Are & There Aren’t Many Awards 7 of 10Much like the music industry, not all of those with astounding talent are winning all the awards. Good parenting wins you no medals, gets you no prizes ... from your peers, or other parents anyways. It's hard ass work, the music industry, much like parenting. You have to seek and find satisfaction within oneself, by making your art, or in rearing your children. The love your fans/your children dote upon you is the best prize of all. (Cheese, but true.)
Everything Takes Longer 8 of 10Recording an album when you have a young family? It takes longer. Doing anything when you have kids, it all takes longer. You can't ride creative waves for days on end, holed up in the studio when you have children to care for.
Motivation & Immersion 9 of 10You work even harder to produce something of quality. Something your kids can be proud of, perhaps learn from and be involved in. Involving children in music from a young age has been researched to be beneficial in providing a stimulating environment that can and does support children's healthy growth and development.
Read more on The Importance of Music In Early Childhood
Every Little Thing Is Going to Be Alright 10 of 10In the words of the late great Mr. Marley himself -- no matter how whack, how crazy, how challenging parenting can get -- if you work hard and follow your instincts (or develop your talent/musicianship if we're talking about the music industry), everything is going to be okay. Often more-so.
More Babbles From Selena…
- Weekend In Review: As Told By The Duchess & Her Hero
- Top 7 Ways To Nip a Toddler Meltdown In The Bud
- From No Man’s Land: Mama Shopping For Toddler Tips
- The Wild & Wacky Faces Of My Toddlers
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