11 Reasons Why Being a Toddler Rules

Blondes may have more fun. Life may begin at 40. Maybe everyone wishes they could be a California girl. But being a toddler is still the best.

Here are 11 reasons why toddlers have it made in the shade (shade that someone else created for them, of course):

  • Being a Toddler is Awesome 1 of 12
    Being a Toddler is Awesome
    But you probably knew that, right?
  • Shameless Nose Picking 2 of 12
    Shameless Nose Picking
    Everyone picks their nose (and burps and farts, for that matter). And it's totally gross.

    Except when you're a toddler and you pick your nose, it's kind of totally fine.

    And maybe it's even a little adorable.
  • First-Class Treatment 3 of 12
    First-Class Treatment
    When you're a toddler, there's no need to spring for a first-class seat on an airplane. That's because everyone around you will wait on you hand and foot and indulge your every-conceivable whim in an effort to keep you happy.

    If a toddler isn't happy on an airplane, no one's happy.
  • Discriminating Taste 4 of 12
    Discriminating Taste
    There will be no massaging the chef's feelings.

    When you're a toddler and what you're eating doesn't taste good, you spit that sh*t out.

    That's how toddlers roll.
  • Ridiculously Greasy Wheels 5 of 12
    Ridiculously Greasy Wheels
    Toddlers don't have to say (scream or cry) it twice.

    The really loud and horribly squeaky wheel definitely gets the grease. It's in everyone's best interest that way.

  • Up. Now. 6 of 12
    Up. Now.
    Done walking? No worries, mate!

    When you're a toddler, someone will carry you.

    And if not? No big deal. You can just sit on the floor motionless and boneless until the would-be carrier changes their mind.

    Because when you're a toddler, you have all the time in the world.
  • Stroller? Why, Yes, Thank You. Don’t Mind If I Do. 7 of 12
    Stroller? Why, Yes, Thank You. Don't Mind If I Do.
    It's the best of both worlds: Toddler doesn't feel like walking? Toddler is tired of being carried? They'll just have someone push them around. Literally.

    After all, it'll be the only time they let someone do it (see "Ridiculously Greasy Wheels" ).
  • Nap Time 8 of 12
    Nap Time
    When you're sleepy and you're a toddler, it's always nap time — no matter where you are.

    No one wants a toddler awake if that toddler prefers to be asleep.

    No one.
  • Loving Surroundings 9 of 12
    Loving Surroundings
    More like lovey surroundings.

    When you're a toddler, it doesn't matter if your one true love is dirty, missing an eye, smelly, uninvited or out-of-place — your lovey goes where you go.

    No questions asked.
  • No Ego 10 of 12
    No Ego
    Many adults are limited in their lives by the feeling that they're being judged by others due to their appearance.

    Toddlers are not burdened with that feeling.
  • Live-In Maid Service 11 of 12
    Live-In Maid Service
    When a toddler is done with something, they will drop that sh*t like a hot potato and not look back.

    After all, since you made them, isn't it your job to keep acting as the maid and pick up after them?
  • Macaroni and Cheese 12 of 12
    Macaroni and Cheese
    Not the kind with shaved truffles. Not the organic kind. Not the low-fat kind disguised with butternut squash. Not the kind with the white cheese. Not the homemade kind.

    When you're a toddler, you get the straight-up neon-orange Kraft kind. Because it's the best.

    And so is being a toddler.

Photo credits: iStockphoto

Follow Meredith on Twitter and check out her weekly column every Friday on the Op-Ed page of The Denver Post at


Article Posted 4 years Ago

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