12 Resolutions: The Toddler EditionCasey Mullins
Hey guys, Vivi here. I’ll be turning 3 this year and boy have I got plans in store for 2014. My mom declared 2010 was going to be the BEST YEAR EVER and wouldn’t you know it? She ended up pregnant with me that summer. Now, most adults have some pretty lame resolutions (and I’m allowed to say that because who wants to make it a goal to “sleep more?” Adults, that’s who.) Then there are the “eat more vegetables!” and “exercise more!” resolutions.
I’m a toddler, I have to eat what’s given to me and I never sit still. Check and check on those silly goals.
You see, what I have in store for 2014 involves some major life skills as well as some goals I believe most, if not all, of my toddler friends have. We may seem complicated, but really we’re just simple creatures with brains that are working on high speed at all times and bodies that just don’t slow down. Feed us, love us, play with us and snuggle with us and we’re fairly easy to please. (My mom just rolled her eyes and scoffed from the other room. WHATEVER MOM, LIKE YOU’RE SO EASY TO GET ALONG WITH.)
Anyway, here are a few of my goals and resolutions before 2015 comes calling.
Jump Into the Foam Pit 1 of 12
Look foam pit, I've slid into you, I've lowered myself into you, I've even jumped in while holding my aunt's hand.
This will be the year I jump from the mats into you.
These thighs can't stop, won't stop.
Find The Other Bunny 2 of 12
"Back to his bunny family!" they said.
I call balderdash and I'm going to find that other bunny before the year is over. I know he's out there.
Other family, pfft. What do they think I am, a baby?
Convince My Parents to Buy a Real Trampoline 3 of 12
Look, my little trampoline in the front room is cute enough, but I need to get some serious air and only having the chance to fly once a week on Fridays is really getting me down.
Time to dig a hole in the backyard and bury a trampoline of my very own, guys.
Never Have My Picture Taken Again 4 of 12
My mom blogs.
She has Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, scrapbooks and my grandparents who apparently want to see "How big I've gotten."
Better figure out how to tell how big I'm getting from behind, because this is all you're going to see of me for the next few years.
Go to Preschool 5 of 12
I'm 3 in May, which means I'll finally have the chance to go to the same preschool Addie did.
ARTS AND CRAFTS, HERE I COME.
Ditch the Diapers 6 of 12
I mean, I'm close. But I'm kind of lazy and then there's the whole WHOOSHING of those damn public auto-flush toilets. I'd really rather not deal with those, thanks.
Bust Out of My Crib 7 of 12
See, here's the thing I haven't quite put together yet--if I ditch the diapers, my parents will have no choice in taking me out of my crib and putting me in a real bed.
Until then, I'll just stay in my baby jail in the mornings, singing songs and throwing all my blankets overboard.
Learn to Read 8 of 12
All this time my family spends staring at inanimate objects, specifically books--clearly there's something to that, right?
Teach me to read and I'll put myself to bed every night!
Figure out the Password to the iPad 9 of 12
All that stands between me and hours of endless glowing entertainment is four numbers.
Even if I sneak away with the iPad when no one is looking, I still can't get past those four numbers.
CURSE YOU NUMBERS! CURSE YOU!
Get to Disneyworld and/or Land 10 of 12
I know Mickey, I know Minnie, I'm familiar with the mermaid and a few other key characters. It's time to take me to the happiest place on earth while I'm still free but old enough to kind of figure out what's going on.
Try Every Variety of Cheddar 11 of 12
A good sharp cheddar is my favorite, but there are so many other kinds.
I want and need to try them all, then perhaps I'll move on to fancier, softer and stinkier varieties.
Never Wear Pants Again 12 of 12
I mean, this one is pretty self explanatory.
One of my first full sentences was, "I don't want to wear pants anymore."
My parents only argue with me about it half the time.
Find more of Casey’s writing on her blog moosh in indy or her Babble Voices site Shutterlovely. She’s also available on twitter, facebook, flickr and Instagram. If you can’t find her any of those places? Check the couch, she’s probably taking a nap.