I’ve been the mama of a few puppies in my lifetime. Their adorable little furry faces and mischievous zest with which they approach everything in life just melts my heart.
I have also been the mama to a couple of toddlers, and when you think about it, toddlers are exactly the same as puppies if you just replace the furry face with a slightly grubby one.
Don’t agree with me? Just consider the similarities. Both puppies and toddlers …
1. Play fetch
I can entertain my son for hours by throwing a ball across the room for him to chase after and return to me. Same thing with a puppy. Right down to the loss of attention span that leads to me retrieving the ball myself 50 percent of the time.
2. Eat off the floor
Both puppies and toddlers tend to vacuum up any food that you leave on the floor. Cheerios, petrified raisins, etc. They are all fair game to those whose stature keeps them close to the plate — I mean floor.
3. Sneak into bed with you
My son is like a ninja when it comes to sneaking into my bed in the middle of the night. While puppies may be a bit less athletic in their pursuits, they usually gain access to the goods all the same.
4. Hold a grudge
Whether it is because I denied them their favorite treat or merely walked out of the room without warning, the reaction I have gotten when I have seemingly wronged my dog or toddler is the same: the extended cold shoulder. Ice cold.
5. Poop and pee with reckless abandon
Good lord, how do their itty bitty bodies produce so much pee and poo? All I can say is, at least my toddler wears a diaper when he decides to relieve himself on the couch. Puppies? Not so much. Cleanup in aisle 3.
6. Trash your house
Shredded newspaper, wet spots on the carpet, chewed up furniture … and that’s just my son. Don’t even get me started on what a puppy can do to my living room in five minutes.
7. Can be trained … sort of
Sit, stay, come. These are all commands that puppies and toddlers can understand. The real question is whether or not they will head your call or play deaf … which lead us to:
8. Play deaf when it is convenient
Both puppies and toddlers have the uncanny ability to pretend not to hear you when it is more convenient than doing something they would rather not. Like sit, stay, or stop licking the cat.
9. Instigate noise complaints
Be it nonstop barking or whining, puppies and toddlers have a way of getting under your skin. And the skin of your neighbors. And people in any accompanying states. The amount of noise their tiny little bodies can produce is incomprehensible.
10. Get incredibly excited to see you
The amount of excitement a toddler and dog display when they see you after an extended absence (or you just coming out of the bathroom) is amazing. It is like seeing Santa, riding a unicorn, in your bedroom.
11. Love treats
The intensity with which puppies and toddlers beg for treats cannot be matched. Whether you pull out a bag of dog bones or a box of fruit snacks, both species lose. Their. Freaking. Minds. I think my son would be equally excited if I gave him dog treats…
12. Feel bad when they make a mistake
Sad puppy eyes don’t only come on puppy dogs. My toddler has perfected them when he knows he has done something wrong and feels remorseful. Or just wants to get out of trouble.
13. Love you unconditionally
No matter what your actions, your toddler and puppy will love you with the unwavering intensity of a Capulet to a Montague. It is one of the most pure loves there is and it is amazing.
14. Give the best kisses
Though they are both a bit sloppy, kisses from toddlers and puppies are the stuff dreams are made of. Sigh. I need to get a puppy, or have another baby … Wait, what?!?More On