7 Ways a Toddler is Exactly Like Your Annoying Co-WorkerMeredith Carroll
It’s bad enough when you have to deal with children at home (especially when they’re yours). It’s even worse when you go to work in the morning and you have more children waiting for you. And you don’t work in a daycare.
There’s just always that one co-worker in your office who manages to be needier and more annoying than the most ill-behaved toddler in your family. You just can’t escape either one of them — your toddler or your co-worker — and no matter which way you look at it, they’re kind of the same person.
Here are 7 ways toddlers are pretty much exactly like your annoying co-worker:
No Work and All Play 1 of 8Your toddler and your annoying co-worker wouldn't have it any other way.
They Steal Your Food 2 of 8Your annoying co-worker: It doesn't matter if your yogurt, soda or sandwich is clearly labeled as yours. Some part of your lunch always goes missing. Incidentally, your annoying co-worker never seems to remember at least one item in their lunch but also never has to go down to the deli on the corner to replace it, either.
Your toddler: There's no point in labeling your food at home — toddlers can't read, remember? But even if they could read, your toddler wouldn't hesitate to swipe anything off your plate in plain view. If it looks good, they'll take it, no matter to whom it belongs.
They Don’t Understand the Meaning of ‘Team Work’ 3 of 8Your annoying co-worker: It doesn't matter if you are specifically assigned to work on the same team and collaborate on all aspects of your job, that annoying co-worker will act as if they operate on an island — an island in which you're tasked with making and delivering them umbrella drinks while they work on their tan.
Your toddler: Why work as a team when your toddler can just sit this one out and watch you do all the work after you give up on trying to get them to pitch in?
‘MINE!’ 4 of 8Your annoying co-worker: You go hours each day without hearing a peep from your annoying co-worker, but when the boss ambles over and asks to be reminded who came up with that great idea at the last pitch meeting and also offers up tickets for the company's box seats for that sold-out concert that you've been dying to see, guess who's there all of a sudden and very vocal?
Your toddler: Oh, sure, your toddler can and will quite happily claim credit for the homemade Valentine's card sent to the grandparents, but guess who sat there like an idiot cutting out hearts from doily paper and coloring in all of the letters and drawings that went along with it after your toddler got bored with the project after exactly 41 seconds and wandered into the kitchen to see if any cupcakes just happened to be lying around.
They Have No Listening Skills 5 of 8Your annoying co-worker: You can email it to them. You can print out the email and leave it on their desk. You can leave them a voicemail. You can walk over to them and spell out what was written in the email and said in the voicemail. And you just know they'll still find a way to somehow not know that the project deadline has been moved up by a week.
Your toddler: They don't listen because they don't care. Caring is for older kids. Toddlers are all about themselves, which means they don't need you to tell them anything. However, if you continue to insist on talking, they just won't listen. Because they don't care. Or did you say that already?
‘Who, Me?’ 6 of 8Your annoying co-worker: Whenever there's a printer jam, an empty box of pens or a dirty dish in the sink, there's one person who's never, ever guilty. Take a guess who that might be.
Your toddler: No one's fessing up to the stolen chocolate pudding, the knocked-over plant in the hallway or decorating the cat's tail with finger paints, but only one person has chocolate all over their mouth, dirt under their fingernails and paint all over their body.
They Goof Off When You’re Ready to Get Down to Business 7 of 8Your annoying co-worker: You're motivated. You're pumped. You're ready to work. Your annoying co-worker, on the other hand, literally thinks the rubber band ball on their desk might be bigger than the one in the Guinness Book of World Records. And that actually means something to them.
Your toddler: It's as if your toddler has a tiny alarm inside of them that indicates it's party time at the precise moment when you must get to work on something that requires thoughtful attention to detail.
When You’re Ready to Call it a Day, All of a Sudden They’re in Work-Mode 8 of 8Your annoying co-worker: If the sun is setting and you have plans outside of the office that you've been looking forward to, that necessarily means it's the moment when your annoying co-worker is ready to hunker down — with you — and seriously start working.
Your toddler: You've just sat down with your well-deserved (pick one) martini/glass of wine/Xanax/all of the above when your toddler chooses that moment to dump a pile of books on your lap while simultaneously indicating they're finally ready to eat after refusing your feeding attempts for the last 90 minutes.
Photo credits: iStockphoto
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